I love having a teenager!

I was at the salon the other day and a nice guy was cutting my hair and we ended up talking about having teenagers.  He mentioned that he didn't know what that was like yet, but he wasn't looking forward to it.  I started talking about how much I was enjoying this new stage with my son becoming a teenager, and how I actually loved having a teenager.  He kept cutting, and had a quizzical look on his face as he said:
"I have never heard anyone say that before?"

So that's what brought on my blogging for today.

I think God must have put that into my DNA but I love to challenge the thinking of anything. Not in a negative way or trying to make someone wrong, I seriously just enjoy dissecting, mulling over, turning upside down, looking at every angle of every situation or statement made.  I am sure this annoys some people, and I am not trying to annoy you, but I seriously enjoy this process of finding out where someone is coming from, how they see the world, and how I see the world, leading  to always wondering God's perspective.  I have also learned to keep quiet in this process within myself, unless it seems helpful or encouraging.  So my intention in this blog is always to encourage a new thought process, not to say yours is wrong.

I love seeing all his diff styles he tries

As Daniel (my 13 1/2 yr old) has started to grow into the young man that he is becoming, I have seriously enjoyed the process of watching his maturity, his mistakes, his learning, his wisdom, and his new thought processes.  It is so enjoyable to see him try out this new life as he makes new friends, finds his niche, tries new things, and just experiments with life as he goes. I have felt such peace and reassurance as I know that my husband and I are in this together.  There are times that I know I am overreacting as a mom and I check in with Ruslan to make sure Daniel isn't being too daring, too harsh, too mean, too risky, too independent, isn't pushing the limits too much etc...Ruslan is there to reassure me that he is only a boy, and a teenager.  I love the trust we have built and are still building as we entrust Daniel with more and see his responsibility strengthen his foundation, and we entrust more to him.  A few keys that we have found extremely helpful in this process are the following:

Not getting upset when I want to experiment with more photos :)

Be transparent/honest

I have learned that I myself have to be completely honest and real with my feelings and and let Daniel know when I get my feelings hurt by him.  We have to admit when we hurt him and apologize for stepping on his toes, or making a decision without finding out his heart on it first.  Also we have had to make it VERY clear how important honesty is on his behalf.  If we can't trust his word then we can't trust him to be away from us, because we can't see what he's doing all the time.  He has learned to value this trust and keep that bridge strong, he wants privileges, and above all he truly wants us to be proud of him.  
It's not always easy to be honest about when I get my feelings hurt or when I need to be strong on an issue that I know he won't like,  but I see our relationship changing and maturing.  As he becomes a friend to us in some ways and we with him, he always knows we are still the Parents and he may not always agree with our decision but he too has to trust us and our heart for his best.  We have to tell him when his joking with us crosses the line, or when it's perfectly appropriate.  

 

Trust him/ equip him - know that he WILL make mistakes

 I was so excited when I asked the Lord a few years ago, "OK Lord what is my role as Mama, with Daniel now as he is shifting from training and discipline?"
I immediately heard the Holy Spirit say, "Equipping."
I was thrilled, my spirit got excited, I knew this would be a fun stage. I love to equip people, and part of that is beginning to trust them and entrust them with things to grow and learn in.  I don't have to be so involved in training and discipline so much but listening, coming alongside, offering suggestions, correcting critiquing (occasionally, but mostly encouraging), hearing how he processes, listening to his thoughts and ideas on how to handle situations, guiding him with his ideas, admitting that I don't have all the answers but have a lot of experience to share.  Enjoying who he becomes.  Knowing that Ruslan and I have a strong relationship and that in itself is a HUGE safe haven for Daniel to learn and grow from.

Be involved/be interested in what he's interested in his life
I love watching him in his new world.  We all remember the day he decided to go long boarding for the first time in our neighborhood about a year and a half ago, and suddenly he befriended half the neighborhood. :)
 He is learning how to be a peer, how to serve others and consider them as people, how to help his friends in their struggles with life, how to make wise decisions in the midst of pressure from friends to do things he knows aren't the right choice for him, how to stand up for his beliefs and morals.  Ruslan and I love asking Daniel how his time was with his friends and just listening to how their time is spent, the silly things they do, the not so wise things they sometimes try (and we make clear boundaries again), and we know he probably doesn't tell us every single thing but we trust his heart and he wants to do what is right and good, he wants God's best for his life when it all comes down to thinking that through.

Connect him to God/live that example

I know without a doubt God's got Daniel's back. I also know that Daniel without a doubt knows who God is.  We have taught about God our whole lives, but not only that he has seen God be a reality in our lives.  He has learned to hear God for himself and spend time with Him to make Him a priority.  I am not saying he does this all the time, but he knows that's what he wants, God has revealed Himself to Daniel and spoken personally to him about his life.  That is something only God can do and I am thankful that we could lead him in that direction to find God.  Daniel knows he can always come to us for questions about God and seeing our example of daily living in communication with the living Holy Spirit.  This bring so much peace to my life and heart as a Mama. 

I love seeing him interact with his lil sister, seeing him play piano

Listen

This in itself can be one of the MOST valuable tools of all next to God of course.  So many times I get myself in trouble with just spouting out my way of seeing things with what I think Daniel means
and then half way through I think about the fact that I didn't even ask any clarifying questions or where he was coming from, or if he has more information.  I have to be a safe place for him to process out loud, with out coming in like a sledge hammer with my ways of doing things or seeing things.  Especially because we are the complete opposite in relating to people.  I have no problem with verbal processing, boldness and openness and saying what I really feel (in love of course) he on the other hand is a peace maker and is very pensive about how he makes someone feel, he wants people to feel safe and loved and cared for (which is an incredible gift), I even learn from him now in some things, it's such a beautiful exchange and growth that happens as we too as parents are vulnerable and real, but still knowing our place as the final authority and having more wisdom in experience and years than this new teenager (even if at first he forgets this :)).

Discouraged...and Encouraged! "C'est La Vie"

There is a definite theme in my life, ups and downs,  that I have started to embrace instead of being surprised at every time. And you know, it really helps...A LOT!

DISCOURAGED :(
I was starting to feel a bit discouraged with ALL the information out there, and all the do's and don'ts of organic, mixing foods, soaking foods, honey, no honey, grains, NO grains, etc...and so of course that made me think of those of you who are trying to make changes towards healthier living and I just wanted to encourage you that you just need to take ONE STEP at a time, don't try and change everything at once, it will completely fizzle out your desire to do anything at all! I don't know why God put that in us, (actually as I write it I got the revelation of why He did put that in us, he wants all of our heart, if we are walking the line, undecided "lukewarm" He spits us out, wow!)so human nature seems to be either all or nothing, except in the things that matter often times :( I am speaking to myself here.

So I found this and thought it might help you too:

A realistic approach to going organic small steps you can take

http://www.womensforum.com/foods-dangerous-if-not-organic.html

And just a reminder, another hopeful reason why you might want to start taking steps towards organic is the hope that we can bring change to our culture of living. If we all start taking one step at a time towards the more expensive more healthy organic foods, we can begin to start making a demand for organic (which has been growing already) and then the producers of all the "fake dead food (no nutrients)" will start stepping up and seeing that our health is so much more important than money and speedy eating. Therefore also shifting our culture into a new "old way" of thinking which is to slow down and actually enjoy meals and have time for meal prep. and I could keep writing and writing and writing...but I'll stop there for now. :)

ENCOURAGED!! :)

I had a sweet past friend from my hometown youth group message me to let me know that she had been following my blog and was so encouraged by it, she started trying to convince her "junk-food junkie" husband to start making some changes with her. She also had started heading in that direction because of busyness.  So it took some continual pressing the issue, and then talking to someone else who helped seal the deal and they are now headed down the path to healthier living! Woo hoo that is exactly why I am writing this blog and if it is just for this one then it was totally worth it! But hopefully others are being encouraged too. You can do it!

DISCOURAGED :(

My kitchen! Probably don't need to expound on that, but my sister and I decided to text each other a photo of our horrible kitchen whenever we are discouraged, just so we can feel better that we are not alone.  With all this soaking, broth making, veggie chopping and now trying out this new water kefir, : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7svkQuUYYc 

Dishes NEVER end!

With a small kitchen it gets messy SO QUICKLY!

I am thanking the Lord that I have a kitchen but I am also asking for a BIGGER one some day soon.
"The health benefits of consuming water kefir are endless. They are a natural supplier of probiotics to our digestive track. Probiotics refers to the healthy bacteria that usually feeds on the “bad” unhealthy bacteria in our stomach and intestines. Bacterial overgrowth can lead to many ill...nesses some of which include fungi, yeast infections, indigestion, obesity, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Crohn’s Disease, skin disorders, etc. "
(Health Benefits of water kefir: Posted by Lisa Neptune)

These are those strangle little kefir granules

they look like sea creatures or something

He's my helper ALL the time, and he actually sticks with it. Ian usually wants to help, gets bored then leaves half way through. :0

ENCOURAGED! :)
I noticed some of my teeth that were feeling really sensitive when I touched them near the gums, have stopped being so sensitive! I would press on them and it felt like I was pressing on a wound. It scared me to have my teeth feel that way, I thought there was nothing I could do about it, but they are doing WAY better! YES!
Annnnd I have recognized how lazy I had become in coming up with creative healthy recipes cuz it was so much easier to just make something familiar with white flour and sugar rather than thinking of new ways using honey and not always needing to use flour. We have had some pretty yummy treats.

This is made with 3 tbs honey, blueberries, cream cheese, nut crust,and lemon it was delightful :)

NOW...they are embarrassed to talk "bathroom talk."

So I have been checking in with the kids asking them about their bathroom time and their consistency and level of difficulty or ease of going #2 and they are acting so embarrassed to share!  Yet at the dinner table or every other second of the day I can't get them to STOP talking "bathroom talk," sheesh, you'd think they'd be excited to actually have PERMISSION to talk bathroom talk hahaha!

Well I am super excited to have so much more energy! And the famished feeling I was feeling for the first 5-7 days has finally vanished, now I don't even crave breads or sweets! I can't believe it! It's kinda like when God frees you from a wrong thinking pattern and after a few weeks or so, suddenly you realize..."IT'S GONE!" Oh my gosh that feeling that was all too familiar I just grew comfortable with, is actually gone, really gone! I am free! :)  

I was so unaware of how much lack I was living with. I thought maybe it was just still recovery from birth and lack of sleep (which of course played a part) but looking back I have always tired so quickly when standing stationary for too long, even cooking a full meal, or when I used to wait tables, I was soooo stinkin exhausted by the end of the night! Basically I am a high carb girl but I was getting it from the wrong sources, breads, sweets, grains, chips, crackers etc...WHEN in fact I should have been eating more veggies and proteins to fill me and carbs as the side dish or side thought. I am one that basically used meat as a seasoning hehe.  Oh and the pain in my neck and shoulders has MAJORLY subsided, I didn't realize I was carrying so much buildup of toxins in my muscles and shoulders and neck was where they would try to escape the most. :) God really is so amazing how He made us.  

Annnnnd... I have noticed those areas that like to collect cellulite, have started to shift considerably! Yes I did have cellulite! Yippee, now to work on the muscle gain. 

Ian's crocodile skin has started to clear up considerably! He always had really bumpy rough skin on his lower legs and arms, and it's majorly changing.  Ian even said one day: "This diet is really changing me, I cleaned our room really good and I actually liked it!"

It was a costume party in case you didn't figure that out :)

Joel is peeing a lot more! I know it sounds funny, but I realize it's his body ridding itself of toxins and he is eating really well, trying things he never would have tried before. He even enjoyed the eggplant!  Joel is asking at the store, "Can I buy this? It's organic Mom." 

Daniel loves the peanut butter banana pancakes they have saved him from the eggs. :)  I am hoping to see this change in lifestyle help strengthen his teeth.  Unfortunately I have passed on my weak teeth to my son :(  But I am praying and believing for that to change. :)

We had our FIRST SPLURGE. It was for Tyler's (cousin) 18th b'day and graduation party.  The cool thing was my sister Autumn made so many delicious homemade appetizers that weren't far from our gaps diet needs! But the ice cream sundaes were our major splurge.  I found it very exciting to see that I could taste how overly sweet it was and didn't even desire seconds, that is except for her DIVINE homemade caramel sauce!!! Oh and I actually didn't even want the pasta covering on the ravioli and didn't want the white bread with the bruschetta, I just wanted the tomatoes and sauce! I was amazed! Annnnnnnd I found it easier to recognize when I was full and I wasn't even tempted to over eat as usual when there is so much good food.

My lovely sister Autumn and her 18 year old son!!! My little nephew!

And they ate eggs until they came out of their ears...

Did you see the movie "Flipped"? That's exactly what I feel like right now doing this GAPS diet, cuz one easy quick protein is EGGS! Eggs! EGGS! So yeah, I thought we had tried them every way you can possibly make an egg...BUT I was wrong.

These are for juicing, we add a tsp of coconut oil (organic, COLD pressed) to help with absorption into the body, the fat helps the body suck it up better :) or a fish oil capsule (not sure if that one helps yet, but it seemed good haha)

 These puppies excited me sooooo much! These are banana peanut butter pancakes with NO FLOUR!! (we can't eat grains yet) These actually even got a little fluffy and had an awesome tender fluffy texture, I was stoked. OH were the kids rejoicing this morning, JOY was restored to the Kalashnikov stead. hehehe

I found the pancakes yesterday while dying to try something new that was legal for this SOUP, SOUP, and more SOUP diet. This ladie's website is so helpful it's called kids and scd.  We are supposed to eat soup at least once a day because of the very nourishing needed vitamins that come from the homemade broths. Also a cultured vegetable, or juice from them with every meal. So our main staple has been sauerkraut. I actually love it with a lot of things. It went especially well with the boiled meatballs we had last night (I know boiled just sounds wrong, but they are quite delicious-I do prefer oven, but once again getting that broth in somehow).

This is a newly started batch of sauerkraut

So the day before yesterday was major meltdown day.  I came in the kitchen the location of my new full time job I got hired for, oh wait I don't get paid, well my new volunteer job haha.  I am AMAZED at how much time I have to spend in the kitchen now with all the prep; few ingredients, LOTS of prep! Chopping, soaking, dehydrating, crushing, juicing, roasting, blending, wiping, washing, sweeping, washing, break for nursing, washing, oh and did I mention WASHING!

I was pumping milk and Abi grabbed the hose right from the bottle and started sucking, I guess that was her way of saying hurry up!

Anyway....I came into the kitchen and saw my horrendous kitchen looking the way it does everyday now after one meal, and I just wanted to scream, so instead I slammed a cupboard and yelled, "Can't I have one clean day!? One stinkin clean day, just one!" Oh did it feel good to slam that cupboard, so I did it again, and another one and pheww, that felt gooooood!  So then I gave up went into the living room and almost started yelling again, I wanted to blame someone and there sat Daniel, innocently on the couch, (who had, by the way, just put on some MUCH NEEDED worship music for Mama on his own initiative). I slightly raised my voice, "Daniel don't you hate a messy house!? " 

"Yes," he hesitantly agreed

"Then why don't you freakin pick something up when you see it laying on the floor!??" Yes I said, "freakin," it tends to be ALL of our new frustration word, I don't love it but it sure helps emphasize the frustration.  Then I just plopped down on the floor on my stomach and started to cry.  "Lord I know I am being ridiculous what is going on?"  As the amazingly perfect song is playing in the background, "Oh How He loves us, how he loves us so," I smile inside thinking of Daniel and his tender heart always wanting to bring peace. I sob and sob and sob some more, the bubbly snot kind. As I cry I feel all the pressures rising to the surface immediately being passed into the arms of the Father, thoughts and pressures from circumstances of a week ago rise to the surface and are released to my Savior, tears are flowing, I think of my frustration of my milk flow, more tears, more release, I forgive a person AGAIN, more release, suddenly my cries are turning to groans and yelling into a pillow, this is all happening in the middle of my living room floor, while my adorable Daniel and Joel are silently and stealthily tidying up the living room, I am giggling inside at the thought, hoping they aren't thinking this only has to do with a messy living room.  Suddenly it all turns to laughter and I remember the movie I just watched, which was surprisingly cute and meaningful "1000 Words," with Eddie Murphy. And I remember the part where this cheesy guru says: "yes, let it all out, you know tears and laughter are very close cousins (or something like that) I laugh some more. Now I am laughing deep refreshing exhilarating laughter and I feel soooooo much lighter. I feel the love of the Lord so deeply and I feel so so....so LIGHT. 

Thank you Father, you always know exactly what I need and what is really going on behind my meltdowns.  Thank you for loving me and having so much patience with me in the midst of life, and being a mom and a house cleaner and a kitchen cleaner etc... I couldn't do this without you, I need you more than ever before I need you more. This destiny of mine is far greater than I ever imagined and I am literally living it out today one day at a time, in my kitchen.

I am so content. :)

P.S. I talked to Daniel and Joel about my process and explained it wasn't just cuz of the messy house :) I also thanked them thoroughly for cleaning up so well. :)

My (not so hidden) ADDICTION...

 These are a few photos of my life lately. Of course right now I am feeling like my main activity in life is pumping milk and nursing. Thankfully fourth time around, I am aware that this season does  eventually end. However I still have to remember to prioritize, as my Mother so wisely reminds me, my number one goal is, to eat well myself.  I have recognized how easily that slips thru the cracks, "oh whoops I forgot to eat again."  I sometimes don't even have a moment to feel hunger, I only realize my famished state, once I start cooking then I am rummaging through the cupboards trying to find ANYTHING edible. Hence the importance of not having junk food stored in those cupboards. I still have not fully arrived in this area. We did just finish off the marshmallows in some delicious marshmallow popcorn last night, trying to get rid of the last sweets so that we can get back on track. "Back on track" for us lately is one "sweet day" during the week and then weekends free to eat sweets.  It's a start. :) (My Mom would still think that's still a lot of sweets but she's probably not fully aware of my addiction... OK yes she is).

As I went off on that unexpected tangent I realize that that is a big focus right now for us. Getting healthy and being wise and realistic about the needs of our natural bodies.  I am finally aware of how food really can and does affect my mood, my energy, my spiritual life, my wifely "privileges" (I was gonna say duties but they aren't duties) Mothering tasks, etc, etc, etc...

I found out recently (within the last 3 years) that I had a tendency to live in a fantasy mentality.  I began to have my eyes opened as I had a conversation with a sister and I was putting two and two together, every month at a pretty similar time of the month I would be extremely irritable and impatient and grumpy with the kids and my husband...I know this might sound silly and obvious to some of you but I was in denial that anything "natural" like periods, food, allergies, pregnancy, lack of sleep...had any affect on me. Only "weak" people got affected by those things. I know it's horrible and arrogant, and believe me a TOUGH place to be.  I didn't allow myself to feel what I really felt, and I didn't know it was OK to have needs. So when something did affect me and I couldn't DENY it, I would be PISSED! Yes Pissed! Cuz that would mean I was weak, not spiritual enough, messed up, failed, got slowed down... and the list goes on. Wow I had no idea I was so hard on myself.  Well Praise God He has continued the process of teaching me what it looks like to be a healthy woman emotionally (yes I have emotions, I was surprised too, and it's not bad) spiritually, and physically. It has been an incredible journey, and STILL so much to learn.

 These precious boys have opened up a whole new world to me, one of freedom, joy, disorder (they added to my already existing problem) loudness, silliness, not taking myself too seriously, love, loyalty, humor, and the list goes on and on and on and on.  God definitely knew what He was doing when He gave me 3 boys. I always say that He gave me a second chance at being a better sister (now Mother) than how I handled my 3 little brothers. I had no file for boys, they are just so different than me haha. :) And I now realize, it's wonderful!

It especially cracks me up how much this little/big guy my 7 year old Ian reminds me soooooo much of my younger brother Gabriel. He challenges me always, keeps me on my toes, has a mind always churning, is one mission minded, and has the softest teddy bear heart ever!  I miss you Gabe. :)

He amazes me yet again! Communication.

I have always journaled as I learn and grow, and think "some day I would love to write a book to help other Mom's not have to learn things the hard way, or those who don't get to learn at all." But then I started thinking I should start now!  Why hold it in until I have learned EVERYTHING, and then share my "great wisdom" (ha ha).

This was a recent incident that really brought freedom and a load off of my back!

So recently, Daniel my oldest had told me that he didn't like when Papa (dad in Russian) joked when Daniel shared something from the heart.  I took it upon myself to explain this to Ruslan and try to get him to recognize that joking isn't always the best way to make someone else feel at ease, even if it's the way that works for you. So he sort of got it.  But next time it happened again, I realized, "wait I dont' have to be the go between, I need to teach them to communicate to each other." So I called Daniel in and asked him to explain to Ruslan what he meant. He did. Ruslan my husband, heard it better from him than from me.  I recognized that Ruslan probably assumed that I was being oversensitive, but when he heard it from his son's own lips, something shifted in his heart (of which is made of gold) and he saw I wasn't just jumping to conclusions.

It felt so wonderful, to know my place as Mom, is to help bring communication, not to BE the communication.