We are enjoying listening to the Loving on Purpose parenting series by Danny Silk in our homegroup. I absolutely love it! I get so frustrated every time when I see all the places I haven't been applying the things I've learned and yet so encouraged by the awesome perspective and clear vision of what Danny presents, and how valuable parenting is. This is my husband and my 3rd time through this and each time we learn something new, and apply something more.
As we were watching this last session, I was seeing Danny's extremely patient demeanor, and the process he mentions walking the kids through, and I am sitting there thinking, SO MUCH TIME! It takes so much time, to get the the heart of an issue with the children, or to stop and clean up a mess with them teaching them to clean their own mess, helping them with options and choices, (it takes time and creativity to even think of good choices to offer sometimes), it takes time to help the child get to the place of cleaning up his mess in forgiving his brother from a true place of repentance instead of just plopping down an "I'm sorry!" Then I began to realize, "well if I would just take the TIME, to stop what I am doing and give the time needed, then I actually could handle doing all this responsible parenting." :)
Some days I do really well, and some days I get so caught up in my activities that I forget what and who the priority is. I have begun to recognize when I am getting too hurried. If I am in the kitchen rushing around cleaning off counter tops, swinging around to wash the dishes and GET REALLY ANNOYED when one of my darling children walk in and I almost run into them. Or when I am racing to get my son to bed so I can have my down time, and I feel UNDONE when he wants me to come read to him and I just don't feel like it! When I am so focused on my task: blogging (supposedly helping others learn things in my process of learning haha), editing photos, making dinner, painting, wanting to have an alone time with the Lord...I start to see when once again I allowed other things to come before the kids. I am not saying that I can't do those things, but when I continually am getting frustrated at the kids for needing my help, or asking so many questions, or just wanting Mama to not be busy, then I am saying I need to pull back from my activities and put them first.
The same thing happens in my desire to spend alone time with the Lord, often I feel the wooing of the Holy Spirit to steal away for a moment and just rest in His beautiful presence and it's very tempting and I actually really WANT to, I feel the excitement in my spirit and yet I find myself suddenly on Facebook, or blogging, or finding a snack to munch on, or sitting down to "check out" in front of an entertaining sitcom. Not that that those things are bad (I had my days of being extremely religious about them being bad), but I notice the PULL towards distractions. It's very constant daily, and there is an extreme resistance to slowing down, just sitting and letting your mind rest and receive or be renewed in His sweet peaceful presence, instead of filling, doing, learning, accomplishing! I find that when I am finally sitting, and lately I notice that sometimes that is only in the bathroom on the "throne," I realize oops I did it again, I haven't taken time to slow down today, because it feels so nice and I really start to hear and see a lot clearer, I get better strategy for the day, I don't feel like I am in constant GO mode.
Soooooo I have been asking the Lord for wisdom (James 1, if you ask for wisdom you will get it!) and guidance, to recognize when I am being too driven, and not slowing down, because I function SO much better when I have a plan, I am nicer to people and MUCH more patient, when I am not always moving forward to accomplish my plans. I take time to squeeze my son and tell him how much I love his sense of humor, I stop and watch the silly video they have been begging me to see, I don't miss the Que of a moment where I untied heart strings in my snapping at my son. I don't get annoyed when my husband stops me and kisses me as I am rushing down the hall to put away laundry. Being in a hurry robs me of the present, cuz I am always pushing towards the future. Holy Spirit let it not be so in my life.
When I slow down things become much more handle-able.