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I love life! I love the multifaceted things about it and about God.  I love to enjoy each day to it's fullest. I love my boys and I love change!

Friday, October 12, 2012

"Me! Me! Me!"

  So continuing on with my testimony from last time I wrote, I have gotten more confirmation.  I don’t fully understand why some things just take a certain amount of times before they actually sink in, but thank God it’s FINALLY sinking in, being a Wife and Mom is my utmost important dream, destiny, accomplishment, etc…(after my relationship with God of course). It may not be what I am ALWAYS going to do the rest of my life, but right now this is my main focus, and time consuming ministry, that I need to be putting all of my heart into, and I am really enjoying it, in a whole new way. I would say this revelation has been getting through over the last 5 years or so, but it sure has been a process, ups and downs, and lots of forgetting and needing to be reminded again and again.  One of the main reasons being, the onslaught of attack and NOT much affirmation of the value and importance of being a wife and Mothering. In our society I would say it has been long forgotten how important it truly is, our culture basically screams, “Me! Me! Me! And how can “I” be successful, how can “I” be famous or count for something, how can “I” be fulfilled, how can “I” live my fullest potential, and not let anyone steal that from me?  But in the kingdom Jesus said, “if you want to be great, become a servant to all.”  I have thoroughly seen that I fell completely for the lie, and it can snag you even in the Christian life, cuz it’s the same thing it just uses “christianese:” “I want to live my destiny, I want to do God’s will, not focus on menial tasks at home, (cleaning house, washing dishes, wiping bums, feeding kids…) I want to be walking in “my” calling, “my” ministry,  I need to save the world, not be at home wasting “my” precious time! I need to get out of this time wasting job so I can go evangelize (meanwhile your co-workers go on not even knowing you are a Christian).
Well at church Sunday, Jason Hague, our associate Pastor was speaking on discipling and what does that really look like, as he gave the description of what that was: a man (Jesus) having 12 other people follow him everywhere he went, learning from His every move as he lived out loud, sometimes explaining and training.  It HIT me! Duh I am totally discipling my 4 disciples consistently and constantly every day!  And I love teaching about the Lord, not just in words but in actions.  So as I have fully embraced my “ministry” I am seeing a new found joy in the daily moments, homeschooling, playing, being silly, spending time with God, cooking, washing dishes, little chats with the kids, walks, food shopping etc…The other day I was reminded how long it had been since I danced and there sat my never ending pile of dishes, so I put on my ipod shuffle and started wildly washing dishes spinning around the kitchen kicking wildly in the air, I ended up out on the patio dancing around just fully enjoying the task at hand. I had a blast, and the dishes were almost done!  It’s amazing how much we can miss if we aren’t just in the moment giving our full attention to what we are doing, I have been stuck in the “next task” or future for so long, I have MISSED many, many, many important moments, and lessons along the way, but it’s never too late to start so I am starting again, and when I forget, I am starting again, and again and again!  There really is a war in the heavenlies for our TIME.

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