Dr. Suess prophesies again!

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."      

Dr. Seuss 

 

I just finished watching The Lorax, and I really felt inspired to write this blog. I literally was yelping and jumping up and down praising Jesus for the HOPE that is in His kingdom, I was yelling out "Thank You Jesus! You are so real, you are so exciting, woo hoo!" 

As Joel knowingly smiled at me, used to his Mama and her spontaneous out-bursts.

Oh my gosh! This saying excites me soooooo much!! 

Dr. Seuss is so prophetic!  I just love that he wrote these books years and years ago and isn't even alive and yet they are speaking into NOW today for us.

I don't know if many of you remember "Horton Hears a Who" and when it came out, but it debuted soon after Lou Engle talked about how God gave one of his students a dream about Dr. Seuss books and it was about that specific book that later became a movie.  It was in answer to their many prayers for abortion to stop.  God was speaking of the value of even one voice one tiny unborn voice and that "a person's a person no matter how small."

I just LOVE how God speaks to all of us and whoever is tuned in, even the unsaved people, they move forward with God's ideas.   So now as I watched the Lorax I saw so many parallels in what God is saying to us today.  Starting with confirming Josh's word at Christ's Center from last Sunday about planting that seed!  If God is telling you to plant a seed (give a hug, an encouraging word, call that friend, talk to that Mom, kiss your husband, rub your child's back, forgive that person that hurt you, reconcile with your sister, say hi to your neighbor, etc...) then do it! Don't worry about the outcome or don't take responsibility for the harvest, God brings the harvest, God plows the ground, we just get to partner with Him and listen to His heart and obey when He guides.  Each one of us has influence wherever we are. We can't look at our country and just assume we are doomed and that these big people, government, can just take over and tell us how to live, we must be asking God, what is our part? What can I do as a housewife, mother, photographer? What is my role Father? 

I loved how in the Lorax, it was the Grandmother who was speaking to the young boy reminding him of the past, history, and encouraging him to seek out the roots of the country what we were founded on? Then it was her who rode the scooter along side him as he raced to plant the seed that was given to him, to restart our present and begin a new legacy.  Not all on his own but WITH his family and his grandmother.  They were a team.  It was even the grandma that "broke up the fallow ground!"  The whole city had become one mind that had completely gone astray from their roots and their beginnings.  I am continually amazed at how powerless we can become when we start going along with popular belief.  If each of us will rise up where we are at and ASK GOD, "what is my role?" He will tell you.  You, personally and specifically, have a seed to plant!

I have been asking God and I have felt Him strongly remind me that my role is to be a voice, a voice of truth in any way I can.  It's starting in my home valuing family and putting family before career or success, putting God before family and making TIME for Him as a priority.  Loving my husband with my whole heart having a healthy loving marriage as an example to my children (the next generation).  My role is portraying God's beauty and reminding people of the greatness of God and His fun beautiful creative side, that brings joy life and celebration, through photography.  Allowing people to see the treasure in themselves through photography and encouraging words and prophecy.  As i have embraced these roles, I no longer feel powerless in the face of fear or politics or all the craziness happening in the world, because I am sowing GOOD seed, for a generation of purity, Christ mindedness, faithful marriages, whole relationships between family, honest business practices, a confident self image and worth in Christ not in the world's opinion of me.  I can honestly say I am living another of Dr. Seuss's prophetic statements:

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
― Dr. Seuss

This is how I feel about God and all that's brewing in His heart and mine

 

Please just STOP right this moment and ask, it doesn't have to be a long involved intercessory hour or hours, simply ask:

"Father what is the seed you have for ME to plant in my sphere of influence, starting today, right now?"

Now write down whatever He impressed on your heart and DO IT! :) And He may give you an answer for today or for the theme of your life, but always check back in ask daily. It's really quite fun!!

 

 

 

Marriage isn't just about SEX (part 2)

Sorry to leave you hanging for so long.. :(  Yep, life happened again, for some reason it doesn't stop when I stop?

So I was feeling so confused and alone... (read part 1 if you are haven't already it will help you understand this better)
Finally I got up off of my bed.  Trying to have some time alone with the Lord to get answers wasn't working.  I needed to get outside of my mind, I needed a face to face with someone. And I knew I needed to share with Ruslan what was going on but I felt so afraid to share with him because I didn't want him to worry that it was worse than it was...but I think the truth is I still hate when I am weak, especially when it comes to insecurity because I have believed that if I share when I feel insecure, it will make me seem less lovable, less "all together" and beautiful. 
I came into Ruslan's office at home and sat down trying to not seem too pathetic, he asked what was going on.  I just started spilling out everything that I wrote on part 1 and he listened very lovingly.  I then realized from saying it all out loud, that because I felt rejected by some people I love, I suddenly was afraid that Ruslan would want to reject me too, and so therefore, I started rejecting myself before he could even get the chance (so strange how control works).  I realized that in my feeling "single and attractive" when being out by myself that day, I was still believing the lie that if I wasn't attractive to the world anymore then Ruslan would stop being attracted to me.  I started thinking about how NOT perfect I was and how my body was not the way I wanted it, and it was starting to scare me again to think of aging, and losing my attractiveness.  So then I had spiraled way out of control into a big fat lie!  Yet part of me obviously still believed that lie because it felt so real, so true.

The more I talked to Ruslan the more I realized as a child, I saw that my father wasn't faithful to my mother and it seemed that (from a child's perspective) once she became "unattractive" in his opinion, (gained some weight) he got bored and started looking somewhere else...being unfaithful, which then led to divorce.  So to me that meant once I get older, or gain weight, then Ruslan and I would stop being intimate and Ruslan would get bored and go find someone else.  Which also translated into
marriage = sex.  Our culture seems to say good sex is only when you have a perfect body and a certain size breasts.  Therefore, I was afraid that soon I wouldn't fit that description anymore and it was inevitable that someday Ruslan would be bored and done. What a horrible feeling! (It was pretty subconscious though sneaking up here and there)

Ruslan so kindly assured me of that being a total lie and that he didn't just marry me for sex (haha it even sounds funny saying it, but it felt so good to hear the truth breaking through that lie).  I also broke agreement with those lies that I believed since a child, and I asked God for His truth...which was so cool, because I heard him say Ruslan will never divorce you.  It just felt so reassuring because I know that God knows Ruslan's heart even more than Ruslan.  Ruslan of course confirmed that as well. :)

I definitely saw once again how much the Devil hates marriage especially successful marriages, and he has been using a very strategic plan to destroy marriages and make people believe that the exciting more alluring thing is never committing, and only focusing on the outward appearance.  I am so sad to see that so many of us have bought into it.  But praise God for His help in unveiling the lies, and for bringing inner healing and health.

Marriage isn't just about SEX

 I received a request to talk about SEX.  I realized, yeah, I haven't really talked much about sex.  What would I write if I write about sex?  And actually something recently came up.  I am recognizing the Lord wants me to share the processes He has walked me through so that other people can get that freedom to.  I don't always like walking through the tough things, but there is a joy and fulfillment in knowing that atleast it will help someone else along this journey of life.  This is a very fresh and recent revelation, and I am yet again surprised at only JUST NOW getting this clarity, this is DEFINITELY an area that truth comes and then being bombarded by our confused culture, starts to fade again.  Although with each incident, there is a deeper level of revelation that goes deeper than the last...anyway... I may be rambling so I don't have to start sharing what I am talking about...OK I'll stop lollygagging...

So I was in the car driving alone with out kids or husband and thinking about how I felt single again, and was remembering the single days and how I actually don't miss them much at all!  I also noticed that four different guys at four different stops, would look at me with a very flirtatious almost seductive look, and I could feel the familiarity of it.  I was excited to realize that that is what I used to struggle with growing up, was thinking I needed to grab the attention of EVERY guy who passed me by, thinking that it proved my sexiness, therefore my worth as a woman.  I never had a desire to have sex with them or wish that they would take me home with them, but just knowing that I was approved as woman.  Plus there was power I felt in knowing that I could catch many eyes (this is feeling very vulnerable right now...). 

Later on in life I have seen that I learned this way of thinking from something that happened to me (I'll share sometime, it wasn't family related), and also having a father who didn't always know how to affirm me as a woman, plus a mother who never knew her amazing worth and beauty.  Once I became a teenager my dad wasn't always sure how to show affection, and he really wasn't good with compliments, he would more often joke and do things like sing a silly tune, "we wear short shorts, if you dare wear short shorts..." I had to choose from one or two meanings in my mind; either he was saying my shorts were too short and I needed to change, or he was saying wow you are turning into a beautiful young lady and showing that you have beautiful legs.  I chose the second meaning because I also liked how other guys gave their approving stares or glances.

So back to being in the car.  I drove home and kinda had those thoughts still rolling in my mind.  That night I dreamed about a woman who was planning on getting divorced and I was very passionately telling her that is wasn't OK, it wasn't hopeless there was still a way to fix the marriage!  Another woman came and told her testimony of me helping her to not choose divorce and the first woman was intently listening.

I woke up from that dream feeling the sadness of divorce.

That day I experienced some major rejection having to do with some people very close to me.  It stirred up some old wounds of rejection that I thought I dealt with...  As I was in my room alone thinking about those lies and how real they felt, I wasn't sure where to turn or what to do, all I could think about was how depressed I suddenly felt, all I wanted was some form of comfort any comfort, something to take my focus off of feeling so isolated, alone, misunderstood, hurt...

"Where was all this coming from? Was it an attack? Was it going backwards in the freedom that I knew I had in this area? Lord what is going on??" 

I also felt like I didn't want to bring it up with Ruslan cuz I didnt' want him to think I was majorly struggling with something, but I felt so alone and stuck, like the walls were caving in on me...
I went another day trying to process this strange fear, pain, anger, and even self worth deteriorating.  I even started thinking about Ruslan probably getting bored with me, and not wanting to be with me anymore.
It was such a blindsiding, I was so confused.  Just two days earlier I was feeling wonderful, totally fulfilled completely happy, and loving life??  I knew there was some root issue or demonic attack, but I wasn't getting ANY clarity!?
(I am going to stop here for now but I will finish...)