Isaiah 60

The Glory of Zion

¹ "Arise, shine, for your light has come,

and the glory of the LORD rises upon you.

² See, darkness covers the earth

and thick darkness is over the peoples,

but the LORD rises upon you

and his glory appears over you.

I feel God moving quickly! I have this feeling inside of me that I must have more of Him, now! I feel like I know He is doing stuff, but I am not hearing as clearly as I'd like.

I could fully relate to Pastor Bill Johnson's word that I need to get my priorities in check and that I must lay aside things that hold me back. I must be willing to quiet myself and be still. I do not want to miss what God is doing. It's not even fear that I feel, but this longing to be a part of what He is doing. The best part is, I know He wants me to be a part of it!

So now the question is how? How do I focus while my darling little Joel (16 months) comes right in my face, as I am laying before the Lord, chirping "Hi. Hi. Hi!" I have found that he is willing to just lay on me, or be lifted up on my legs as I do leg lifts for a ride, while I am praying or worshiping. It is awesome because Joel is receiving as well, and I want him to be familiar with setting aside time for the Lord.

Then Ian (4yrs) bursts in needing his pants buttoned and zipped, so I do it, and continue on. Daniel asks if he can play a game, I give him his time and release him... back to worship. I am finding that God knows I have children, they are not a burden, or holidng me back, they are a part of all that I am doing, learning, hearing etc...They are the reason God wants to show me so much, how else would I leave a legacy, they are the legacy!

Daddy teach me to impart to my children all that you show me, teach me to be at ease and trust Your ways. I don't want prayer to be a boring religious ritual that my children endure! I want them to know what a Mighty, Powerful, Exciting, FUN, God You are!

FREEEEEEDOM!!!!!!

The other day I was so excited because I felt this burst of excitement for new things when we were about to have our family prayer. So I said, "OK Lord, show me how to not be too serious in getting the kids to join in, I don't want to be religious!"

So the boys were sitting on stools (a story for another time) and Daniel started making a low playful screaming sound, Ian joined in, I joined in, and then Ruslan joined in. There we were in our living room roaring all together! It started out low and grew to a steady shout. Then afterwards Ian said, "OK, lets all scream "freedom" together!" I agreed, 1,2,3...FREEEEEEEEDOM! It boomed out of our mouths! It was a riot!

Afterward, I explained that that was a form of prayer. Sometimes I feel a deep cry coming from my stomach and it wells up and I don't feel release until I scream! They were pretty excited about that.

New things. We are trying to let God do what He wants to do, we don't want to be left out!

We found this head in our strawberries!


Hmmm........Where do I start? Well I first want to start with saying how awesome it is to TRULY trust God with everything, instead of just saying I do.
Last week I released my "LIFE" shirts to the Lord and said, "Lord, I give them back to you, I can't make it happen and I hate self promotion because it's not even about that, I need help to spread this message, that is so important to me. I pray you would put it on people's hearts to help me spread the word and help get these shirts out
there.



Two days later I decided to text a sweet grade school friend whom I hadn't talked to in a while. I asked how she was doing and she ended up asking me how my "LIFE" shirts were doing and if I had found a sponsor, something I hadn't even thought of. I replied that I was leaving it in God's hands and was waiting to move forward on this one marketing idea but I needed $295 dollars, so I was just waiting to see. She then texted that she wanted to pay half! I was so stoked! I thanked her immensly and still couldn't believe it! Two days later from that prayer of leaving it in God's hands!

Then to top that off, I was standing in line at the deli, (at the court house waiting to know if they needed me as a juror), and the older man in front of me offered to buy my coffee and donut! I felt like God was totally showing how much he cares for all of my desires, even a yummy glazed donut!!!

I had a lovely time with my sister Faith on Memorial day! After spending some time at the lake with us she came over to our house for a bit and we caught up on our "girl talk," after about 3 hours! As we were talking I got such a clear understanding of how much I need girl talk, I figured I probably need it atleast once a week.

It has been really funny since being set free from religion and pride I have begun to notice things that I think I was in denial about. I found that some things I felt proud about, that they didn't affect me. However, they did affect me I just didn't notice how. So any sort of "NEED" was very hard (and still is sometimes) to admit. One of those funny things that I recognized was that sometimes at certain periods in my life, I just all of a sudden feel down, unmotivated, and incapable of being a mom or wife, etc... In the last few weeks I started to pinpoint how often I feel that way, and what do you know!???? It was approximately once a month for a "period" of about 5-7 days??? What a coincidence!! ha ha

So along those same lines I was realizing that around 3 or so I start to feel sort of sluggish and not much energy? So I was thinking maybe it's spiritual? But then I just asked the Lord and I started to think maybe it was my eating habits? That very night we were watching T.V. and this commercial pops up on the screen and it says something like:

"So for those of you feeling sluggish around 3 PM eat some nuts (it was advertizing the nuts) and don't let that blood sugar get to such a low!"

I was just laughing! Such a quick answer and in such a direct way! God is so cool how he speaks to us. I have really begun to recognize how many different ways He speaks. We just need to keep our senses open, ALL OF THEM!

By the way I tried that commercial's (God's) advice and I felt much better! I ate some fruit at about that time and I had some nuts and I didn't feel that sluggishness at all!!

We need eachother. I love my family!

Daniel is a great big brother, so full of compassion and patience. He is also trying to test out some boundaries of attitude, I think it's the age. But we are just nippin it in the bud before it turns ugly.;) He was wrestling in the pool with Ian and he got hurt a little, and then replied, looking at me, "Mom I guess I am just not a fighter, I am a dancer...a breakdancer!" I laughed and said, "Well it's good you know who you are."




Our little Joel so full of LIFE (wonder why??!:) He is always adding some new joy to everything we do. He loves water, I don't know many babies who don't. He loves dirt more than any of my other two, he is stuffing flowers, rocks, dirt, mud clumps, anything in, we are always having to tell him to spit stuff out. I just let him suck on the big rocks though, he's gotta experience some stuff right.

Susans 21st Birthday! We had a blast, she did an amazing job planning it all and just going for it. She did this whole formal Hollywood theme, the safetly pins on my dress were for a game. We even made a 20 minute video for the premiere showing that night. It was an amazing growing process. I love that precious girl, oops I mean woman!;) (My huz looked so hot!:)


My beautiful roses, thanks to our landlords, they used to live in this house and planted all these beautiful flowers and plants everywhere.



Seth (my brother) comes over on Tuesdays and Thursdays to hang out with us and my boys just love those days! They love their uncel Seth! He is exhausted here, cuz Mom had him get up early so she could vote before dropping him off.



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Ian being Ian! He is learning to read, I am so proud of him, only 4 and just so wanted to learn.


Monday, I was feeling really down, a heavy cloud was over me the minute I woke up? I rarely feel that way, but I have noticed something different for the last week or 2? So I was trying to handle it on my own going to the Lord for my regular quiet time in the morning, but I just wasn't feeling ANYTHING! And I wasn't feeling any better. I went to call someone to pray with me and they weren't answering, I called someone else still no answer. I thought, OK I will go to Ruslan (I didn't want to add anything to his work load that day-but I couldn't shake it). It was so awesome, God was able to give such clarity to Ruslan, he just named the issues exactly and prayed with me as I repented for taking on control once again, and I felt 100% better, it was incredible! It was so tricky too, when I am trying to be in control, it feels like nothing I do helps, and I have no answers, because I keep thinking it's up to me! Duh! But it is such a subtle trap too. So once again "OUT OF CONTROL AND LOVING IT!"

Anyway, I am just enjoying being me and loving on my family, and trying things that I desire, just cuz I want to. :) I feel God's pleasure in that. Danny Silk mentioned last night that we need to "dream big and write small" meaning, we should dream big and think of the bigger picture who we want to effect, what difference we want to make, what plans we have, but we have to be able to narrow it down so that we actually accomplish it. We have to be able (if writing) be able to get someone else into our head and know exactly what we are saying and feeling. It just really encouraged me, to remember how to think practically alongside of being a visionary, which can be so exhausting sometimes.

I decided to just post some photos in the week of the Kalashnikovs. This was a busy week, as usual I suppose. :) Pictures tell 1000 words, I absolutely love photos. I am still trying to figure out if there is any other purpose than just that I love taking photos and to tell a story through them.