The Wastefulness of Grace

I don't even know what that means yet, "wastefulness of grace??" I do see it's something I long to know! I am excited because I feel the Holy Spirit wanting to show me too.

Probably for the last 5 or 6 years of my life I have felt so adamant about NOT WASTING TIME! I get so irritated to see Ruslan play DUMB computer games for so many hours, or people watching youtube for hours and hours, or myspace, or someone watching movie after movie after movie. I always think of everything they could be doing that would be so much more productive or edifying etc...

I know there is some truth in it, but I also see there is some fear in it as well, not wanting to miss out on something important. Not wanting people to waste their lives and waking up sometime down the road when it's too late!"

But I see the Holy Spirit speaking softly to me that, "It's OK, I don't need to fear, I don't need to control other people's experiences, I can trust Him to reveal truth to other people." If I can't encourage and speak in love and truth then I don't want to be telling people or myself what I "should" be doing. I am beginning to see that the Lord is not afraid of me missing something, He is big enough to get my attention. He knows my heart is to do whatever He asks, to be a part of all that He is doing. I am so hungry for more of HIM!

He told me that if He could get ahold of Saul (Paul) who was knocked off his horse and blinded by the presence of God, not even seeking God or wanting anything to do with God! Then how much more can He reveal to me what He is doing and saying, I won't miss it! He told me to just enjoy my life to go after my desires (that He put in me); to enjoy my family, friends; my relationship with Him, and he will guide me and speak to me. I am supposed to enjoy the waves of God and ride with ease and if need be, He will bring me back to land as well.

Some Happenings this last week

Mama Luba's 57th Birthday (Sacramento) Our friends Dima and Yuliya














The power of support and friendship!

This was a "We love the Duncans" gathering. Jeff Duncan has Lou gehrigs disease and there were atleast 70-90 people who came from all over, even out of town, to pray and love on the Duncans. We are believing for his healing.

Laura and Jeff Duncan (next posting of them will be him walking!) Such a strong woman of support and love, Laura.

Ruslan's Birthday Today, 33 years old!

Isaiah 60

The Glory of Zion

¹ "Arise, shine, for your light has come,

and the glory of the LORD rises upon you.

² See, darkness covers the earth

and thick darkness is over the peoples,

but the LORD rises upon you

and his glory appears over you.

I feel God moving quickly! I have this feeling inside of me that I must have more of Him, now! I feel like I know He is doing stuff, but I am not hearing as clearly as I'd like.

I could fully relate to Pastor Bill Johnson's word that I need to get my priorities in check and that I must lay aside things that hold me back. I must be willing to quiet myself and be still. I do not want to miss what God is doing. It's not even fear that I feel, but this longing to be a part of what He is doing. The best part is, I know He wants me to be a part of it!

So now the question is how? How do I focus while my darling little Joel (16 months) comes right in my face, as I am laying before the Lord, chirping "Hi. Hi. Hi!" I have found that he is willing to just lay on me, or be lifted up on my legs as I do leg lifts for a ride, while I am praying or worshiping. It is awesome because Joel is receiving as well, and I want him to be familiar with setting aside time for the Lord.

Then Ian (4yrs) bursts in needing his pants buttoned and zipped, so I do it, and continue on. Daniel asks if he can play a game, I give him his time and release him... back to worship. I am finding that God knows I have children, they are not a burden, or holidng me back, they are a part of all that I am doing, learning, hearing etc...They are the reason God wants to show me so much, how else would I leave a legacy, they are the legacy!

Daddy teach me to impart to my children all that you show me, teach me to be at ease and trust Your ways. I don't want prayer to be a boring religious ritual that my children endure! I want them to know what a Mighty, Powerful, Exciting, FUN, God You are!

FREEEEEEDOM!!!!!!

The other day I was so excited because I felt this burst of excitement for new things when we were about to have our family prayer. So I said, "OK Lord, show me how to not be too serious in getting the kids to join in, I don't want to be religious!"

So the boys were sitting on stools (a story for another time) and Daniel started making a low playful screaming sound, Ian joined in, I joined in, and then Ruslan joined in. There we were in our living room roaring all together! It started out low and grew to a steady shout. Then afterwards Ian said, "OK, lets all scream "freedom" together!" I agreed, 1,2,3...FREEEEEEEEDOM! It boomed out of our mouths! It was a riot!

Afterward, I explained that that was a form of prayer. Sometimes I feel a deep cry coming from my stomach and it wells up and I don't feel release until I scream! They were pretty excited about that.

New things. We are trying to let God do what He wants to do, we don't want to be left out!

We found this head in our strawberries!


Hmmm........Where do I start? Well I first want to start with saying how awesome it is to TRULY trust God with everything, instead of just saying I do.
Last week I released my "LIFE" shirts to the Lord and said, "Lord, I give them back to you, I can't make it happen and I hate self promotion because it's not even about that, I need help to spread this message, that is so important to me. I pray you would put it on people's hearts to help me spread the word and help get these shirts out
there.



Two days later I decided to text a sweet grade school friend whom I hadn't talked to in a while. I asked how she was doing and she ended up asking me how my "LIFE" shirts were doing and if I had found a sponsor, something I hadn't even thought of. I replied that I was leaving it in God's hands and was waiting to move forward on this one marketing idea but I needed $295 dollars, so I was just waiting to see. She then texted that she wanted to pay half! I was so stoked! I thanked her immensly and still couldn't believe it! Two days later from that prayer of leaving it in God's hands!

Then to top that off, I was standing in line at the deli, (at the court house waiting to know if they needed me as a juror), and the older man in front of me offered to buy my coffee and donut! I felt like God was totally showing how much he cares for all of my desires, even a yummy glazed donut!!!

I had a lovely time with my sister Faith on Memorial day! After spending some time at the lake with us she came over to our house for a bit and we caught up on our "girl talk," after about 3 hours! As we were talking I got such a clear understanding of how much I need girl talk, I figured I probably need it atleast once a week.

It has been really funny since being set free from religion and pride I have begun to notice things that I think I was in denial about. I found that some things I felt proud about, that they didn't affect me. However, they did affect me I just didn't notice how. So any sort of "NEED" was very hard (and still is sometimes) to admit. One of those funny things that I recognized was that sometimes at certain periods in my life, I just all of a sudden feel down, unmotivated, and incapable of being a mom or wife, etc... In the last few weeks I started to pinpoint how often I feel that way, and what do you know!???? It was approximately once a month for a "period" of about 5-7 days??? What a coincidence!! ha ha

So along those same lines I was realizing that around 3 or so I start to feel sort of sluggish and not much energy? So I was thinking maybe it's spiritual? But then I just asked the Lord and I started to think maybe it was my eating habits? That very night we were watching T.V. and this commercial pops up on the screen and it says something like:

"So for those of you feeling sluggish around 3 PM eat some nuts (it was advertizing the nuts) and don't let that blood sugar get to such a low!"

I was just laughing! Such a quick answer and in such a direct way! God is so cool how he speaks to us. I have really begun to recognize how many different ways He speaks. We just need to keep our senses open, ALL OF THEM!

By the way I tried that commercial's (God's) advice and I felt much better! I ate some fruit at about that time and I had some nuts and I didn't feel that sluggishness at all!!