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Friday, August 14, 2009

Sure, in being unsure.


We have contended for the last several months for the healing of a very special person, Jeff Duncan. When I say we, I am referring to the hundreds of people who have had the burden for Jeff's healing on their heart and mind constantly.

I am sad to say he passed on August 13th at 10:15 AM. But every step of the way even after his spirit left his body, we believed, and contended for his healing and then resurrection. I had not a single doubt that is WASN'T his time to leave this earth. It was some very intense proclamations and physical manifestations of break through and deliverance over his body, there were so many promises, his body even regained some of it's warmth which increased our faith but still no resurrection. Looking back at yesterday, I feel somewhat confused and not sure why we can feel the presence of God so strongly and agree with His will completely for the healing and resurrection and still not see it? BUT the incredible thing is after all of that, I feel this intensified strong desire to go after these things even more and with greater zealousness! For some reason my faith has increased and has become energized to know that God's power is even stronger than the power of death (I know it's sort of the opposite of what I would think would happen). I run forward in my total TRUST in Him, knowing that we are to raise the dead, heal the sick, and cleanse the lepers. I believe it with every ounce of my being! It has happened before and it will happen again, in my time, in my city. For some reason I feel this new fearlessness in the face of disease, sickness, and even death.

I may not always get FULL understanding, but one thing I am sure of and have no doubts in, is the UNCONDITIONAL GOODNESS of GOD! I, for some reason get this strong sense that He is fully capable of working things out for the good even in our feeble understanding, He sees the bigger picture, He has given us a big part to play in this whole scheme of things and whether I understand it fully or not, I can say that I 100% TRUST in His ways, and not mine. I feel such hope.
I know that He will reveal more as I seek His face, and I also know some things may remain a mystery until I see God face to face in eternity.
Here am I Lord send me.

6 comments:

  1. Pushing against that 1,000 pound boulder, even though it never budged, made you stronger to actually move the 500 pound one. Soon enough the 1,000 pound will be as light as a feather.

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  2. Good word Susan:) I think that you are incredible and I love how much you go after things. This was a huge thing and hard to say the least!! Keep on being faithful!

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  3. Wow. God is good. It's amazing that you came to the conclusions that you did in the face of what looks like and unanswered prayer.

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  4. Thanks ya'll! Very encouraging to hear your words of encouragement to move forward and go for our vindication in the Lord!

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  5. Hi Sweetheart - I'm so blessed by my Rivas girls - you are all so inspiring and wonderful, from your Mom on down. I, too, trust Him 100% - but I wish I could feel the energizing you experienced - right now I feel so beaten down by so much sadness and loss that I feel I couldn't push a 10-pound pebble! (That was a good word, Susan - I agree with Sarah). Good mind picture of what God does with disappointment and pain.
    I love you all so much! Sorry I don't write or "facebook" more, by the time I'm done with my work, I just want off the computer for a while.
    Aunt Kristi

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  6. I'm so sorry to hear about Jeff. He's going to be so missed. It's amazing how God's presence takes away all fear and pushes us forward into HIm. I pray that you will experience His love in ways you haven't even dreamed of yet.

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