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I love life! I love the multifaceted things about it and about God.  I love to enjoy each day to it's fullest. I love my boys and I love change!

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Words of Wisdom that have changed the course of my LIFE

I was sitting here thinking about helpful advice or words of wisdom, or basic revelations that I've gotten that really transformed my way of seeing things, and I wanted to share those with you now.

"Some things just take time" - I have mentioned this before but this one I used to fight more stubbornly than a goat.  I now recognize I was always in a hurry because I was driven by believing we were running out of time, because "Jesus is coming soon!" (I am actually writing more about that in my book that I am working on!)  I always have been more of an impatient, sort of dominant, "get it done" type of gal, so when I had to wait for the process of something it irked me to no end.  Or when I was working on a project and I was missing an integral part and it was gonna take an extra hour to finish, I would be so frustrated!  I needed it to be finished now! So I could get onto more important things. 
I have begun to recognize the HUGE value of wholly being where I am at and finishing something with all that I have got.  Stopping to "smell the roses."  Detaching myself from my goal to look my son in the face as he tells me his really important story about the frog outside.  Leaving the dishes in the sink so I can have an extra half hour cuddling with my huz.  Letting Joel drop the flour in the bowl while I crack the eggs in (even though it takes twice as long ;)).  I have found a new joy in cooking because of learning to take the time.

No trauma for children, if "atunement"is offered- This was LIFE altering for me!  A very knowledgeable Christian psychologist, Dr. Lehman, happened to visit our group when we lived in Redding, and this was one of the greatest nuggets I took home. Basically he shared that even if a very hurtful or harmful thing happens to your child, if there is someone healthy  to offer atunement then they will be able to process it and heal instead of coming to their own child conclusion which is usually very wrong and confused.
Having been abused at a young age (not by a family member and I will share that freedom at some point), I didn't realize that was the driving fear in my mind of protecting my children.  I was so afraid of anything ever happening to them and damaging their perspective, their innocence, or having to deal with trauma and every other horrible after effect"  So when I heard this incredible truth,  it was a gigantic mountain lifted off of my shoulders, and fear disintegrated.  I now had power to help if ever something did happen, because I know Ruslan and I are pretty healthy parents (not perfect), we love each other dearly, we love God, we love our kids, and we are in constant communication with them.  So yay!  We can know that if we love them unconditionally and are there for them through hard stuff it will all work together for the good! Praise Jesus!

This too shall pass -I think this one has helped A TON with children the most.  Tough stages for us have always been the "turbulent threes" we thought we were getting away with the terrible twos until BAM! Three hit!  And of course for me, birth is where I have always used this saying.  It helped so much to picture myself holding that darling baby that was about to present his/herself at any minute now, any hour now...anyway you get the idea. :) Oh and difficult stretching situations like nerves right before shooting a wedding, I would just think of the reality, that tomorrow this will all be done and I will already be editing these beautiful images, it's all gonna be wonderful, I can do this!

Ask more questions I wrote a blog titled this, but for those of you who missed it, this has been a more recent development, but a wonderful new found peace.  "You mean I don't have to know everything!?"  I can ask questions, and not assume that I should know what they are talking about, or that it might hurt their feelings if I admit that I didn't understand what they meant.  You mean,  I can ask if that facial expression really meant that they were disappointed in me, or angry with me, or annoyed with me? You mean you weren't even paying attention to what I was saying, you were just thinking about all the dishes you had waiting for you at home!?  You mean I can ask you for more information please!?
What a relief!!!!!!! :)

Slow down you will be happier - I was noticing one day how easily annoyed I was getting with everything, everyone, and anything that got in my way!  I stopped for a moment recognizing how poopy I was being.  "Lord why am I so easily irritated today?"
"Because you are in such a hurry." I immediately heard in my spirit.
"What!? How would that make sense?" I shot back.
So I began to think on that quite a bit and I purposely, literally just slowed down my pace of even doing dishes, instead of rushing to get it over with I decided to make sure I wasn't missing any spots and seeing if there was anything extra I could do that I usually didn't pay attention to, like washing the back splash by the sink.  Ever sense that day, I have paid attention to my pace when I am really moving fast and trying to hurry hurry hurry, I intentionally slow down, and remind myself this is what I am doing and I am going to do it well.  I welcome the Holy Spirit to commune with me as I do whatever it is I'm doing, and I welcome the interruptions from the children. I feel so much more peace, and joy when I remember to pay attention.  It has majorly shifted my perspective.


  1. Love this Jessica. Such good truths. I too was so impacted by Dr. Lehman. Such amazing information all around. I love to see your growth:) Washing the backsplash on your sink?... Incredible;)

    1. Thanks Sarah. Wow you left a comment on my blog! :) I knew you would appreciate the back splash washing :)


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