Dr. Suess prophesies again!

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."      

Dr. Seuss 

 

I just finished watching The Lorax, and I really felt inspired to write this blog. I literally was yelping and jumping up and down praising Jesus for the HOPE that is in His kingdom, I was yelling out "Thank You Jesus! You are so real, you are so exciting, woo hoo!" 

As Joel knowingly smiled at me, used to his Mama and her spontaneous out-bursts.

Oh my gosh! This saying excites me soooooo much!! 

Dr. Seuss is so prophetic!  I just love that he wrote these books years and years ago and isn't even alive and yet they are speaking into NOW today for us.

I don't know if many of you remember "Horton Hears a Who" and when it came out, but it debuted soon after Lou Engle talked about how God gave one of his students a dream about Dr. Seuss books and it was about that specific book that later became a movie.  It was in answer to their many prayers for abortion to stop.  God was speaking of the value of even one voice one tiny unborn voice and that "a person's a person no matter how small."

I just LOVE how God speaks to all of us and whoever is tuned in, even the unsaved people, they move forward with God's ideas.   So now as I watched the Lorax I saw so many parallels in what God is saying to us today.  Starting with confirming Josh's word at Christ's Center from last Sunday about planting that seed!  If God is telling you to plant a seed (give a hug, an encouraging word, call that friend, talk to that Mom, kiss your husband, rub your child's back, forgive that person that hurt you, reconcile with your sister, say hi to your neighbor, etc...) then do it! Don't worry about the outcome or don't take responsibility for the harvest, God brings the harvest, God plows the ground, we just get to partner with Him and listen to His heart and obey when He guides.  Each one of us has influence wherever we are. We can't look at our country and just assume we are doomed and that these big people, government, can just take over and tell us how to live, we must be asking God, what is our part? What can I do as a housewife, mother, photographer? What is my role Father? 

I loved how in the Lorax, it was the Grandmother who was speaking to the young boy reminding him of the past, history, and encouraging him to seek out the roots of the country what we were founded on? Then it was her who rode the scooter along side him as he raced to plant the seed that was given to him, to restart our present and begin a new legacy.  Not all on his own but WITH his family and his grandmother.  They were a team.  It was even the grandma that "broke up the fallow ground!"  The whole city had become one mind that had completely gone astray from their roots and their beginnings.  I am continually amazed at how powerless we can become when we start going along with popular belief.  If each of us will rise up where we are at and ASK GOD, "what is my role?" He will tell you.  You, personally and specifically, have a seed to plant!

I have been asking God and I have felt Him strongly remind me that my role is to be a voice, a voice of truth in any way I can.  It's starting in my home valuing family and putting family before career or success, putting God before family and making TIME for Him as a priority.  Loving my husband with my whole heart having a healthy loving marriage as an example to my children (the next generation).  My role is portraying God's beauty and reminding people of the greatness of God and His fun beautiful creative side, that brings joy life and celebration, through photography.  Allowing people to see the treasure in themselves through photography and encouraging words and prophecy.  As i have embraced these roles, I no longer feel powerless in the face of fear or politics or all the craziness happening in the world, because I am sowing GOOD seed, for a generation of purity, Christ mindedness, faithful marriages, whole relationships between family, honest business practices, a confident self image and worth in Christ not in the world's opinion of me.  I can honestly say I am living another of Dr. Seuss's prophetic statements:

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
― Dr. Seuss

This is how I feel about God and all that's brewing in His heart and mine

 

Please just STOP right this moment and ask, it doesn't have to be a long involved intercessory hour or hours, simply ask:

"Father what is the seed you have for ME to plant in my sphere of influence, starting today, right now?"

Now write down whatever He impressed on your heart and DO IT! :) And He may give you an answer for today or for the theme of your life, but always check back in ask daily. It's really quite fun!!

 

 

 

ASK MORE QUESTIONS!!! :)

Ask more questions! 


Growing up there was sort of an unspoken rule from my Dad that you don't ask questions, you just do what's asked of you.  My Mom on the other hand wanted us to ask questions more, but she herself wasn't aware that she didn't ask us a lot of questions when teaching us something so we thought that meant we shouldn't ask questions either.  Today it's fun to be able to talk with my Mom and learn more about her perspective as opposed to my child's view.  I am so thankful to have a good relationship with my Mom and to be able to grow closer even more today.

    As I have discovered that, I have wanted to apply that to my children, by asking more questions.  Along with that I have noticed that it's so easy to live my life with out communicating my feelings and emotions, or my process of healing with God, or things going on with my husband,  to my children... I am not saying I share everything, but I have found that sharing my process out loud clears up a lot of misunderstandings for the kids.  Even just explaining why some days I am more moody than others, or if Ruslan and I are having an argument, explaining that I am frustrated but not at them. Also asking them if it scares them when we argue in front of them sometimes.  They have said sometimes it bothers them but mostly they have recognized it's not leading to something dangerous like divorce, and I feel it's important to have them see that a marriage isn't perfect and we do have our bad days and have to work through disputes just like them as siblings.  They obviously can fully relate to that one. I have noticed that it's just natural for me to go talk to my husband or friends or siblings about my issues or revelations, or great ideas, or God encounters...and I still forget sometimes to share some of that with the kids.  Therefore I have had to make a point of learning to talk OUT LOUD to my kids when God does something neat in my life, or when I am frustrated about something, or when I am working through a challenge, or even talking about the fact that I am still learning how to be a better Mom with them.  And it's so fun too to hear their hearts and ideas, and to hear their life struggles, I have noticed it stimulates them to talk more about what's going on inside of them as well.  I absolutely LOVE hearing the inner workings of my children's minds and hearts, they give me great insight at times. Plus their perspective is just awesome.  This all leads to an openness to just step right into ministering to them as well, whether it be praying through a difficult situation with a friend or dealing with thoughts that they don't understand, or worries they have, or fears about God or the future, puberty, a confusing thing they saw on T.V. something someone said to them etc...  I can't always be sure that they are telling me everything but I trust that they have learned by example that it's good to share your heart OUT LOUD so that they can get input and insight and not feel all alone in a family where they are so loved.  

We have also been working on being aware of love languages, I wrote them on the dry erase board so that I would remember who has what and in what order, because they each have two primary love languages.  It's so fun to purposely love on them in their love language, I can totally see the look of fulfillment in their sparkling eyes when I speak out those encouraging words, or give a tight squeeze as one of them is about to run off to play a game.  I still forget some days and raise my voice (the kiss of death) to my "words Of affirmation" child, or get annoyed when my "physical touch" child is crawling in my lap squirming around and putting his head right in front of the work I am trying to complete on the computer, etc...But I have stopped being so hard on myself (most days) and realize the other grace that I have found in talking through things, is I can just as easily re-tie strings of emotional connection that I untied, if I am willing to humble myself and apologize for my harsh words or short fuse, and they are so quick to forgive. 

I have been so THANKFUL when they do ask questions about misunderstandings because I would have been so sad to have them think something was a certain way when it wasn't! For example:
We were driving in the car and talking about gifts and I happened to be telling Ruslan that I found out "gifts" is my 3rd love language and I hadn't realized that, all these years.  So then we were talking about gifts and what we like and don't like.  Ruslan starts to tell me that he really does NOT like getting candy as a gift for some reason, and at that moment he happens to look back and Ian is listening in, and suddenly Ruslan remembers Ian's last gift to Ruslan was CANDY! And he can see by the look in Ian's questioning embarrassed eyes that a wrong message was just sent!
"Oh no, Ian I DID NOT mean that at all. I mean I totally love it when it's from my kids, because there is a major salary difference there, it's the heart that matters to me, it means a lot to me that you would pay your own money to buy me anything.  I love when you get me candy Ian. I hope you understand what I meant."
Ian was put back at ease as he understood his Papa's explanation. And said "Oh ok, I was wondering?" 
 I even said after that, I am so glad we noticed you listening Ian! And I always want you to ask questions if you are confused or hurt like that, I would have been so sad to think you might have thought Papa didn't like your gift. We all got a good laugh, and "Phewww!" moment.

Hope For Ruslan and Jessica Part 4

There were definitely times we connected on a fun level, but I never knew if Ruslan could tell how much I liked him now, because he was really good at completely HIDING his feelings, IF he had any for me??? We played a lot of volleyball on teams, Jeni and I hung out a lot at the pool with Ruslan and sometimes others too. Jeni and I attempted pushing him in, and found ourselves both in the pool and Ruslan with a hurt thumb or something. I pretty much always tried to be near him whether he realized or not, I didn't care, I just really liked being around him. I was always so interested to see when God was touching Ruslan or speaking something to him through different speakers who came to our school I wanted to know God's heart for him too. I was once again even more impressed with this powerful man of God. He was also an excellent speaker. We did this project where we were supposed to write about a characteristic of God, funny, loving, joyful , etc...and then share our insights with the class. We pretty much all felt shamed by our presentation compared to Ruslan's, he had a natural talent for speaking, I was so proud.

Also some really revealing shallowness on my behalf, I remember watching him play basketball for the first time and being unimpressed, and that was one of the first months of knowing him. I hadn't seen anything else yet, but I do remember wondering if I could like someone who wasn't good at sports, haha! (I hadn't seen him play soccer yet) Yes I had some vanity, big time! Thankfully God started revealing to me more of what really mattered.

Finally! It was a week before leaving for our outreach to China and all of our money had come in, which we were doubtful would happen. But miraculously both Ruslan and I received the rest of our money anonymously, and unexpectedly myself, from my Great Grandfather Poppy, whom I don't even think really supported the whole idea of what I was doing...but I knew he did love me, God is good.

I felt released to give Ruslan ANOTHER letter...DONT WORRY!, not a stomp on your heart type of letter, but a letter asking if we could at least still continue getting to know each other as friends and not lose that, which was really valuable to me. I also apologized for hurting him, and said some other stuff. I took the letter to him and asked if I could talk to him. This time I literally read it out loud to him telling him it was easier for me to read the letter so I wouldn't forget anything I wanted to say. I was really nervous and felt kinda cheesy, but I kept reading. I finished it up, and asked,

“So, do you think we could at least be friends?”

Not surprising, he basically said, “Sure.” and walked away.

I know I probably deserved that. But hey there was HOPE!.. I think.

The next week we left for China, Ruslan got stopped in Canada with visa/passport issues again, and he had to fly alone separate from the team, because he actually had to take a different airline. I was so bummed to be flying with out him, (he wouldn't arrive til late after us). I had already concocted a plan how to sit next to him on the plane, darn it!

You can see why sometimes asians would come up to me and start speaking to me wondering why I couldn't understand them! :) I guess I did kinda blend in

The next morning after we arrived in Hong Kong, I woke up and came out of my room anticipating Ruslan's arrival. As I was walking down the hallway I saw his shoes in front of the guys room, I could feel my heart flutter! “Oh, Lord, I so want this to work out?!!”

The first week there were a lot of emotions through out the whole team, people feeling culture shock, issues that weren't discussed with each other back at the base, team mates getting annoyed with each other, missing home, tired of eating peanut butter and jelly toast for every breakfast, 99% humidity and about 90 degrees, (I had NEVER experienced such sweating in my life!) yet still the excitement of being in a different country and bringing the Lord's presence. I remember crying one day in my room on the bunk bed, feeling like it was so hopeless with Ruslan seeing how he still gave so much attention to Jeni and wondering if he had deeper feelings for her. I felt like he WASN'T acting any different towards me, even after the note.

train corridor

We thankfully got to take a 30 hour train ride, I say thankfully because of what transpired. As I mentioned before no exclusive guy/girl relationships, so that also meant no alone time together. Well Ruslan was sitting at a table in the corridor of the train and there was enough space from the open bunks and train sounds that I could sit by him in the open and actually have some privacy. We ended up talking for about 6-7 hours straight! I was able to be totally honest with my whole summer process, and why the note, and where I was at now, how difficult it was to wait and trust God, and how much I was interested in him now. He also shared his side of things and that he did STILL have feelings for me, and that he had chosen to completely lay me down and had asked God to take away all feelings for me so he wouldn't be suffering throughout the school having hope for something he thought was completely dead. We shared our perspective on different incidents, I asked if he did like Jeni (I had to cover all the ground!), it was amazing! I felt like my heart came back to life! I was so excited and couldn't contain my smile from ear to ear.

Suffice to say, the next 4-6 weeks in China were pure bliss! It didn't matter that our bus broke down on our drive to the great wall, and that 8 of us had to push it, it didn't matter that Mcdonalds was like the best treat we could eat because of being so tired of chinese food, it didn't matter that one of our hotels was so bad we found toe nail clippings all over our half brown stained carpet that would become infested with cockroaches once the lights were out, it didn't matter that the guys stayed in the basement of the hotel with multiple other strange room mates,... Ruslan had feelings for ME!!! And he was starting to show them. Thankfully our hotels did get increasingly better as we traveled on. We had so much fun on this adventure together getting to know each other more knowing there was hope for our future...together. We did get talked to a couple times by the leaders, saying we were being a little too exclusive. We continued writing a couple letters back and forth through out that time as well. He even bought me a Mcdonald's ice cream one day, I had no money at that point so that was awesome! He knew the way to my heart, ice cream.

Mcdonalds!!!

Ruslan standing by ME!!! :)

To be continued...

Just Copying Jesus

I have been thinking more and more about what it looks like to "disciple" my children. Normally I wouldn't think of raising my kids as such a "spiritual" thing as discipling (silly me) but one day I was listening to a teaching by Jason Hague at our church and he was defining what discipleship looked like:

 Of Course we think of Jesus, and the 12 disciples, and what did that look like? 

Well, he practically lived with them, he ate with them, he hung out with them almost every day for long hours at a time and he lived life in front of them.  Sometimes correcting them; like not to call fire down on people, not to think of yourself better than others (first in the Kingdom of Heaven, sitting at the right hand of Jesus), not to only rejoice in casting out demons but that their names were written in the book of life, he loved on them, spoke life changing encouragement over them, led by example, served them etc... I think you get the point.  

Suddenly it started sounding so familiar, Oh my goodness! I have 4 disciples living right beneath my nose, that I can be equipping now! Not some day when I have arrived and am teaching to the nations, or conferences, or on the pulpit, or on the streets evangelizing SOMEDAY...but now!  The Lord has entrusted 4 precious leaders of the next generation into my very hands.  

So with my mindset changed, I have had a new value for what I do, and for these precious little ones.  I have always valued them, but not in this way, it's a very important different way of thinking.  Instead of hurrying through reading to my son, so I can get onto more important things, or not wanting to stop and listen to an argument cuz I need to hurry onto something more important, instead of needing to teach the kids about the Lord by teaching and words alone, I all the more understand they are watching me.  When I want to spend time with the Lord I do, sometimes in the living room sprawled out on the floor with worship music playing as the kids come and pile on top of me.  Or just speaking out loud my thankfulness for the beauty of creation pointing out God's love in all that He created for us.  Sharing my feelings and processes out loud with the kids more intentionally instead of only processing it inside. Showing my excitement and sharing what God has been revealing to me in life.  Even just talking to them about my day or feeling emotional etc... apologizing more quickly when I make mistakes and have temper tantrums in front of the kids...

I have really been enjoying this new thinking! Sorry it took me so long to get it. But thankfully there was always grace in my learning years.  Love truly covers a multitude of sins. Phewww! :)

So

"Me! Me! Me!"

  So continuing on with my testimony from last time I wrote, I have gotten more confirmation.  I don’t fully understand why some things just take a certain amount of times before they actually sink in, but thank God it’s FINALLY sinking in, being a Wife and Mom is my utmost important dream, destiny, accomplishment, etc…(after my relationship with God of course). It may not be what I am ALWAYS going to do the rest of my life, but right now this is my main focus, and time consuming ministry, that I need to be putting all of my heart into, and I am really enjoying it, in a whole new way. I would say this revelation has been getting through over the last 5 years or so, but it sure has been a process, ups and downs, and lots of forgetting and needing to be reminded again and again.  One of the main reasons being, the onslaught of attack and NOT much affirmation of the value and importance of being a wife and Mothering. In our society I would say it has been long forgotten how important it truly is, our culture basically screams, “Me! Me! Me! And how can “I” be successful, how can “I” be famous or count for something, how can “I” be fulfilled, how can “I” live my fullest potential, and not let anyone steal that from me?  But in the kingdom Jesus said, “if you want to be great, become a servant to all.”  I have thoroughly seen that I fell completely for the lie, and it can snag you even in the Christian life, cuz it’s the same thing it just uses “christianese:” “I want to live my destiny, I want to do God’s will, not focus on menial tasks at home, (cleaning house, washing dishes, wiping bums, feeding kids…) I want to be walking in “my” calling, “my” ministry,  I need to save the world, not be at home wasting “my” precious time! I need to get out of this time wasting job so I can go evangelize (meanwhile your co-workers go on not even knowing you are a Christian).

 

Well at church Sunday, Jason Hague, our associate Pastor was speaking on discipling and what does that really look like, as he gave the description of what that was: a man (Jesus) having 12 other people follow him everywhere he went, learning from His every move as he lived out loud, sometimes explaining and training.  It HIT me! Duh I am totally discipling my 4 disciples consistently and constantly every day!  And I love teaching about the Lord, not just in words but in actions.  So as I have fully embraced my “ministry” I am seeing a new found joy in the daily moments, homeschooling, playing, being silly, spending time with God, cooking, washing dishes, little chats with the kids, walks, food shopping etc…The other day I was reminded how long it had been since I danced and there sat my never ending pile of dishes, so I put on my ipod shuffle and started wildly washing dishes spinning around the kitchen kicking wildly in the air, I ended up out on the patio dancing around just fully enjoying the task at hand. I had a blast, and the dishes were almost done!  It’s amazing how much we can miss if we aren’t just in the moment giving our full attention to what we are doing, I have been stuck in the “next task” or future for so long, I have MISSED many, many, many important moments, and lessons along the way, but it’s never too late to start so I am starting again, and when I forget, I am starting again, and again and again!  There really is a war in the heavenlies for our TIME.