I love having a teenager!

I was at the salon the other day and a nice guy was cutting my hair and we ended up talking about having teenagers.  He mentioned that he didn't know what that was like yet, but he wasn't looking forward to it.  I started talking about how much I was enjoying this new stage with my son becoming a teenager, and how I actually loved having a teenager.  He kept cutting, and had a quizzical look on his face as he said:
"I have never heard anyone say that before?"

So that's what brought on my blogging for today.

I think God must have put that into my DNA but I love to challenge the thinking of anything. Not in a negative way or trying to make someone wrong, I seriously just enjoy dissecting, mulling over, turning upside down, looking at every angle of every situation or statement made.  I am sure this annoys some people, and I am not trying to annoy you, but I seriously enjoy this process of finding out where someone is coming from, how they see the world, and how I see the world, leading  to always wondering God's perspective.  I have also learned to keep quiet in this process within myself, unless it seems helpful or encouraging.  So my intention in this blog is always to encourage a new thought process, not to say yours is wrong.

I love seeing all his diff styles he tries

As Daniel (my 13 1/2 yr old) has started to grow into the young man that he is becoming, I have seriously enjoyed the process of watching his maturity, his mistakes, his learning, his wisdom, and his new thought processes.  It is so enjoyable to see him try out this new life as he makes new friends, finds his niche, tries new things, and just experiments with life as he goes. I have felt such peace and reassurance as I know that my husband and I are in this together.  There are times that I know I am overreacting as a mom and I check in with Ruslan to make sure Daniel isn't being too daring, too harsh, too mean, too risky, too independent, isn't pushing the limits too much etc...Ruslan is there to reassure me that he is only a boy, and a teenager.  I love the trust we have built and are still building as we entrust Daniel with more and see his responsibility strengthen his foundation, and we entrust more to him.  A few keys that we have found extremely helpful in this process are the following:

Not getting upset when I want to experiment with more photos :)

Be transparent/honest

I have learned that I myself have to be completely honest and real with my feelings and and let Daniel know when I get my feelings hurt by him.  We have to admit when we hurt him and apologize for stepping on his toes, or making a decision without finding out his heart on it first.  Also we have had to make it VERY clear how important honesty is on his behalf.  If we can't trust his word then we can't trust him to be away from us, because we can't see what he's doing all the time.  He has learned to value this trust and keep that bridge strong, he wants privileges, and above all he truly wants us to be proud of him.  
It's not always easy to be honest about when I get my feelings hurt or when I need to be strong on an issue that I know he won't like,  but I see our relationship changing and maturing.  As he becomes a friend to us in some ways and we with him, he always knows we are still the Parents and he may not always agree with our decision but he too has to trust us and our heart for his best.  We have to tell him when his joking with us crosses the line, or when it's perfectly appropriate.  

 

Trust him/ equip him - know that he WILL make mistakes

 I was so excited when I asked the Lord a few years ago, "OK Lord what is my role as Mama, with Daniel now as he is shifting from training and discipline?"
I immediately heard the Holy Spirit say, "Equipping."
I was thrilled, my spirit got excited, I knew this would be a fun stage. I love to equip people, and part of that is beginning to trust them and entrust them with things to grow and learn in.  I don't have to be so involved in training and discipline so much but listening, coming alongside, offering suggestions, correcting critiquing (occasionally, but mostly encouraging), hearing how he processes, listening to his thoughts and ideas on how to handle situations, guiding him with his ideas, admitting that I don't have all the answers but have a lot of experience to share.  Enjoying who he becomes.  Knowing that Ruslan and I have a strong relationship and that in itself is a HUGE safe haven for Daniel to learn and grow from.

Be involved/be interested in what he's interested in his life
I love watching him in his new world.  We all remember the day he decided to go long boarding for the first time in our neighborhood about a year and a half ago, and suddenly he befriended half the neighborhood. :)
 He is learning how to be a peer, how to serve others and consider them as people, how to help his friends in their struggles with life, how to make wise decisions in the midst of pressure from friends to do things he knows aren't the right choice for him, how to stand up for his beliefs and morals.  Ruslan and I love asking Daniel how his time was with his friends and just listening to how their time is spent, the silly things they do, the not so wise things they sometimes try (and we make clear boundaries again), and we know he probably doesn't tell us every single thing but we trust his heart and he wants to do what is right and good, he wants God's best for his life when it all comes down to thinking that through.

Connect him to God/live that example

I know without a doubt God's got Daniel's back. I also know that Daniel without a doubt knows who God is.  We have taught about God our whole lives, but not only that he has seen God be a reality in our lives.  He has learned to hear God for himself and spend time with Him to make Him a priority.  I am not saying he does this all the time, but he knows that's what he wants, God has revealed Himself to Daniel and spoken personally to him about his life.  That is something only God can do and I am thankful that we could lead him in that direction to find God.  Daniel knows he can always come to us for questions about God and seeing our example of daily living in communication with the living Holy Spirit.  This bring so much peace to my life and heart as a Mama. 

I love seeing him interact with his lil sister, seeing him play piano

Listen

This in itself can be one of the MOST valuable tools of all next to God of course.  So many times I get myself in trouble with just spouting out my way of seeing things with what I think Daniel means
and then half way through I think about the fact that I didn't even ask any clarifying questions or where he was coming from, or if he has more information.  I have to be a safe place for him to process out loud, with out coming in like a sledge hammer with my ways of doing things or seeing things.  Especially because we are the complete opposite in relating to people.  I have no problem with verbal processing, boldness and openness and saying what I really feel (in love of course) he on the other hand is a peace maker and is very pensive about how he makes someone feel, he wants people to feel safe and loved and cared for (which is an incredible gift), I even learn from him now in some things, it's such a beautiful exchange and growth that happens as we too as parents are vulnerable and real, but still knowing our place as the final authority and having more wisdom in experience and years than this new teenager (even if at first he forgets this :)).

Dr. Suess prophesies again!

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."      

Dr. Seuss 

 

I just finished watching The Lorax, and I really felt inspired to write this blog. I literally was yelping and jumping up and down praising Jesus for the HOPE that is in His kingdom, I was yelling out "Thank You Jesus! You are so real, you are so exciting, woo hoo!" 

As Joel knowingly smiled at me, used to his Mama and her spontaneous out-bursts.

Oh my gosh! This saying excites me soooooo much!! 

Dr. Seuss is so prophetic!  I just love that he wrote these books years and years ago and isn't even alive and yet they are speaking into NOW today for us.

I don't know if many of you remember "Horton Hears a Who" and when it came out, but it debuted soon after Lou Engle talked about how God gave one of his students a dream about Dr. Seuss books and it was about that specific book that later became a movie.  It was in answer to their many prayers for abortion to stop.  God was speaking of the value of even one voice one tiny unborn voice and that "a person's a person no matter how small."

I just LOVE how God speaks to all of us and whoever is tuned in, even the unsaved people, they move forward with God's ideas.   So now as I watched the Lorax I saw so many parallels in what God is saying to us today.  Starting with confirming Josh's word at Christ's Center from last Sunday about planting that seed!  If God is telling you to plant a seed (give a hug, an encouraging word, call that friend, talk to that Mom, kiss your husband, rub your child's back, forgive that person that hurt you, reconcile with your sister, say hi to your neighbor, etc...) then do it! Don't worry about the outcome or don't take responsibility for the harvest, God brings the harvest, God plows the ground, we just get to partner with Him and listen to His heart and obey when He guides.  Each one of us has influence wherever we are. We can't look at our country and just assume we are doomed and that these big people, government, can just take over and tell us how to live, we must be asking God, what is our part? What can I do as a housewife, mother, photographer? What is my role Father? 

I loved how in the Lorax, it was the Grandmother who was speaking to the young boy reminding him of the past, history, and encouraging him to seek out the roots of the country what we were founded on? Then it was her who rode the scooter along side him as he raced to plant the seed that was given to him, to restart our present and begin a new legacy.  Not all on his own but WITH his family and his grandmother.  They were a team.  It was even the grandma that "broke up the fallow ground!"  The whole city had become one mind that had completely gone astray from their roots and their beginnings.  I am continually amazed at how powerless we can become when we start going along with popular belief.  If each of us will rise up where we are at and ASK GOD, "what is my role?" He will tell you.  You, personally and specifically, have a seed to plant!

I have been asking God and I have felt Him strongly remind me that my role is to be a voice, a voice of truth in any way I can.  It's starting in my home valuing family and putting family before career or success, putting God before family and making TIME for Him as a priority.  Loving my husband with my whole heart having a healthy loving marriage as an example to my children (the next generation).  My role is portraying God's beauty and reminding people of the greatness of God and His fun beautiful creative side, that brings joy life and celebration, through photography.  Allowing people to see the treasure in themselves through photography and encouraging words and prophecy.  As i have embraced these roles, I no longer feel powerless in the face of fear or politics or all the craziness happening in the world, because I am sowing GOOD seed, for a generation of purity, Christ mindedness, faithful marriages, whole relationships between family, honest business practices, a confident self image and worth in Christ not in the world's opinion of me.  I can honestly say I am living another of Dr. Seuss's prophetic statements:

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
― Dr. Seuss

This is how I feel about God and all that's brewing in His heart and mine

 

Please just STOP right this moment and ask, it doesn't have to be a long involved intercessory hour or hours, simply ask:

"Father what is the seed you have for ME to plant in my sphere of influence, starting today, right now?"

Now write down whatever He impressed on your heart and DO IT! :) And He may give you an answer for today or for the theme of your life, but always check back in ask daily. It's really quite fun!!

 

 

 

God loves this Country and I do too. :)

I think my first tendency used to be to remain ignorant when it comes to politics...But I have come to realize even though that "feels" better it isn't taking responsibility for what God might have for me to fulfill, being born and raised in this beautiful bountiful country.  Growing up my Mom had a tendency to be more fearful and worrisome about the things going on in the world, and my Dad didn't seem to be aware of it or care much.  I guess with out realizing I chose my dad's way only because it looked a little more peaceful...However, neither way was the perfect way.  Both my Mom and Dad were living two extremes.  Now at age 33, I think I am finally understanding things a bit more clearly.

I for sure feel overwhelmed at some of the things happening that are negative, but I have always had a tendency to be moreoptimistic and choose hope no matter how bad things look, that has definitely played out in my favor.  When I think of our leaders and the corruption, it feels really big and impossible, but then I go to God, and I begin to soak in His presence just sitting alone with Him and worshiping to some music and I begin to feel His tangible love and mercy, and everything suddenly becomes lighter.  I often have no idea what to pray for our leaders or our country so I worship God until He begins to pour out intercession through me, and many times I just cry and cry and cry, but I feel Him using that and changing my perspective and hope begins rising up.  I sometimes see visions in my mind's eye and I pray into those as I feel the Spirit leading, and it feels so good, it feels like my prayers are actually accomplishing things (because they are!).  I continue to ask the Lord what is my part, what role can I play in blessing this country and reminding my country and my people that this is our Nation under God, indivisible, with LIBERTY, and justice for all!  Father, how do we come against the onslaught of the enemy in all the evil that we are seeing...???

Well here are a few things that He has given me to stand in the midst of dry bones, or hopelessness:

One step at a time: "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."

I tend to think globally and of whole nations of people coming to the Lord, but I have found there is a lot of wisdom in Jesus' words, "LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF." That is, after we are loving God and allowing His love to flow through us so we truly love our neighbor.
But what does that look like?
Talk to your neighbor. :) Help them with their groceries, watch their children for an evening, offer your tools for their yard work, invite them for dinner, whatever you feel the Lord nudging you to do.  It is only by our daily walk and reaching our neighbor that we can change our neighborhood that we can release the Love of God to begin tearing down strongholds of division, independence, hatred, selfishness, political correctness.  After our neighborhood transforms, our town starts shifting, after our towns, our cities, after our cities, our states...you get the picture right. :)

Focus on YOUR sphere of influence, cuz you do have influence!
Remember that God has you where He wants you (unless you know you aren't where you are supposed to be)!  It isn't somewhere else, it isn't where revival is happening more, it isn't the next church where more spiritual things are happening, it's right inside of you. YOU are the resting place of God, if you will let ytourself be.  God said a broken and contrite spirit He will not deny, but He resists the proud.  He is looking for the hungry hearts who will do what they can with what they have, where they are at! :) Yeah!  It isn't somewhere in the future, it's now, in your backyard, at your bbq, at the movie theater, with your friends who you are embarrassed to mention Jesus to.  It's right where you are at.  Your friends are watching you, your family is watching you, you have influence and authority with the ones you love.  Jesus only moved with compassion, use that compassion and ask Holy Spirit what He wants to do today.  It's NOT somewhere else.

Find GOOD testimonies of what's happening in America.
There are actually some very exciting things going on ALL over America.  Think of Redding for example, 1000's of people are coming in every year to meet with God get more of Him to know how to reach their cities.  Here in Eugene Oregon, our Pastor's heart is to unite the Churches, imagine how powerful it will be when ALL churches start moving together in unity instead of fighting each other.  A huge abortion facility in Texas was SHUT DOWN recently! People are rising up and standing for life!

Ask God what your role is in your city, and what cause to stand with or for.
Don't compare yourself to other people's roles!  You are designed for something uniquely you!  You might be called to Mother your children and prepare the next generation to be pure and set apart.  You might be called to stand in prayer for people who are up front in visible ministries.  You might be called to bring change to the business realm having a business that is done in integrity and excellence.  You might be one who sows into feeding the poor or stopping abortion.  You might be one called to cook the most amazing meals to bless others and show God's extravagance!  You might be called to be the most loving neighbor anyone has ever encountered.  Only you know and God knows so start asking where do you begin.  What do you have in your possession?  Maybe you need to be sharing your beautiful roses with people who love roses.  Maybe you need to be dancing more, even in your own living room.  God will show you your part and it will be clear, it's not somewhere else!
I feel super excited about what God is doing in our nation, I believe it is never hopeless as long as God is on the throne! 
Also just ask God if there is something locally happening that you can be a part of in helping your community, or somewhere you can sow financially? Or maybe it's nursery in your church? Anything to help serve others...if you are already doing this ask God if you are to change anything or if you are on the right track?

DO NOT PARTNER WITH NEGATIVITY.
 It's like smearing Poo all over yourself and then everyone you come into contact with gets some on them too. It's not good!
 Ask God how He sees things.  Ask for His perspective.  Seriously!  Even as you are reading this sit still for 5 more minutes and ask God to reveal His view.  He may give you a scripture or a picture, or a song, or words. Pay attention He will speak to you.  Write it down, and when you are tempted to believe the circumstances, read that word, or ask Him again, He can show you more! :)

I love you all! I love this country!  And best of all God loves our nation!

He wants us to hear

 The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was NOT in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was NOT in the earthquake.  After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was NOT in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.  When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.  (1 Kings 19: 11-13)

When I read this passage, something was nudging me about it.  I couldn't figure it out so I read it again. "Lord, why did you first give all those powerful demonstrations of Your power, yet you were not in the power, or destruction of the mountain, not in the fire?? What are you showing me Lord?"

I read it again.

I put it down and went about my day.  Later it came to me, the Holy Spirit deposited it into my spirit.  He is telling me that He wants His people to realize HE IS SPEAKING! And He always has been. 
For a long time in my life, I kept waiting for these spectacular moments that the Lord would speak audibly, or thunder from the clouds, or give me a clear vision out of nowhere.  I would think, "Lord, I will do whatever you say, whatever Your will is, if only I knew for sure it was You."  But I realized after many years that that was part of faith, believing it WAS indeed Him speaking to me.  I have journaled for many years and have practiced very practically learning to hear His voice, and TRUST that it's Him.  As I have stepped out in small things, He has confirmed again and again that I am hearing.  I would even test it with things, for example; when someone was calling (before we had caller ID) I would ask the Lord who was calling.  Sometimes I was wrong, but sometimes it was right on!  I would ask for how to pray for someone and step out in what I was feeling that I heard (it usually felt like my very own thoughts) and the person would confirm that it was exactly what they needed to hear! I would ask Him to reveal to me where something was when I lost it, or if someone lost their keys or shoes.

I feel like He is so wanting us to understand that He longingly wants us to tune into our natural senses and see what we see, what we hear in our minds, what we sense in our hearts.  He IS SPEAKING, we need to know that He wants us to hear.  

As I was driving to ladies group on our beautiful route here in Oregon looking out over green pastures and fields covered with lush green everywhere.  I was completely enjoying God's creation and taking in His great love for me, thinking through the past couple of days, and I was suddenly recognizing that He had been highlighting  a specific person to me.  Then I began to think about how tickled I was that He kept reminding me, because I obviously wasn't getting it.  That's when it hit me, He really wants me to hear this, and He knows I will eventually get it if He keeps nudging me, even if if it takes three different instances! :)  It's a relationship, and He wants my input and interaction, He doesn't just speak once, and get mad at me if I didn't hear, or say "you weren't listening, your fault you missed out." He never gives up on me, He loves me, He wants me to hear!  I was so excited I had a perma-grin all the way to ladies group.

Here's a great representation of my excitement :)

 

There is resistance to slowing down

www.jkalashnikovphoto.com

We are enjoying listening to the Loving on Purpose  parenting series by Danny Silk in our homegroup.  I absolutely love it! I get so frustrated every time when I see all the places I haven't been applying the things I've learned and yet so encouraged by the awesome perspective and clear vision of what Danny presents, and how valuable parenting is. This is my husband and my 3rd time through this and each time we learn something new, and apply something more. 

As we were watching this last session, I was seeing Danny's extremely patient demeanor, and the process he mentions walking the kids through, and I am sitting there thinking, SO MUCH TIME! It takes so much time, to get the the heart of an issue with the children, or to stop and clean up a mess with them teaching them to clean their own mess, helping them with options and choices, (it takes time and creativity to even think of good choices to offer sometimes), it takes time to help the child get to the place of cleaning up his mess in forgiving his brother from a true place of repentance instead of just plopping down an "I'm sorry!" Then I began to realize, "well if I would just take the TIME, to stop what I am doing and give the time needed, then I actually could handle doing all this responsible parenting." :) 
 Some days I do really well, and some days I get so caught up in my activities that I forget what and who the priority is.  I have begun to recognize when I am getting too hurried. If I am in the kitchen rushing around cleaning off counter tops, swinging around to wash the dishes and GET REALLY ANNOYED when one of my darling children walk in and I almost run into them. Or when I am racing to get my son to bed so I can have my down time, and I feel UNDONE when he wants me to come read to him and I just don't feel like it! When I am so focused on my task: blogging (supposedly helping others learn things in my process of learning haha), editing photos, making dinner, painting, wanting to have an alone time with the Lord...I start to see when once again I allowed other things to come before the kids. I am not saying that I can't do those things, but when I continually am getting frustrated at the kids for needing my help, or asking so many questions, or just wanting Mama to not be busy, then I am saying I need to pull back from my activities and put them first.

The same thing happens in my desire to spend alone time with the Lord, often I feel the wooing of the Holy Spirit to steal away for a moment and just rest in His beautiful presence and it's very tempting and I actually really WANT to, I feel the excitement in my spirit and yet I find myself suddenly on Facebook, or blogging, or finding a snack to munch on, or sitting down to "check out" in front of an entertaining sitcom.  Not that that those things are bad (I had my days of being extremely religious about them being bad), but I notice the PULL towards distractions. It's very constant daily, and there is an extreme resistance to slowing down, just sitting and letting your mind rest and receive or be renewed in His sweet peaceful presence, instead of filling, doing, learning, accomplishing! I find that when I am finally sitting, and lately I notice that sometimes that is only in the bathroom on the "throne," I realize oops I did it again, I haven't taken time to slow down today, because it feels so nice and I really start to hear and see a lot clearer, I get better strategy for the day, I don't feel like I am in constant GO mode.  

Soooooo I have been asking the Lord for wisdom (James 1, if you ask for wisdom you will get it!) and guidance, to recognize when I am being too driven, and not slowing down, because I function SO much better when I have a plan, I am nicer to people and MUCH more patient, when I am not always moving forward to accomplish my plans. I take time to squeeze my son and tell him how much I love his sense of humor, I stop and watch the silly video they have been begging me to see, I don't miss the Que of a moment where I untied heart strings in my snapping at my son.  I don't get annoyed when my husband stops me and kisses me as I am rushing down the hall to put away laundry.  Being in a hurry robs me of the present, cuz I am always pushing towards the future. Holy Spirit let it not be so in my life.

When I slow down things become much more handle-able.

Russian American Life of the Kalashnikovs "VIDEO"

Soooooo, here was my thought...My heart is always to help you or anyone learn things the faster smoother way if possible (besides what we seem to only learn by trials and error), and to know you are NOT ALONE.  I have always thought it would be fun to try and make a "show" of our family life, because growing up I always loved those type of shows.  Well this is OBVIOUSLY a home video type quality and professionalism...
BUT a girl can dream right!  
So I decided to just give it a shot...then that got me thinking... hey maybe we can do this regularly and MAYBE it would be helpful to someone just to see the "normalness" of our life in the midst of reality, but with a twist of playfulness of course, and maybe we could address real issues of families, and maybe we could even teach parents about how to bring the reality of God's connection to His kids (our kids), and maybe we could just have a lot of fun while helping other families learn and be reminded of the incredible value God places on FAMILY and marriage! Yeah, that would be awesome!  And since I reeeeeeeally have a heart to remind mother's of their MAJOR role in raising up these: world changers, business people, world leaders, grocery store clerks, dentists, presidents, mothers, fathers, professors, preachers, teachers etc...MAYBE this could help them be reminded of that too! AND I would be able to share all this amazing stuff (that God has been revealing to me through encounters, revelation, life, and passed on from my Mother of course, and people who have sown into me) with out even leaving my home, because that is where my most important job is right now, right here in the home with my children and husband.  

So there ya have it.  If you have 7 Minutes, here is our first attempt at a glimpse into the Russian Family Life of the Kalashnikovs - living life, loving God, and raising up the next generation :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_QW500l_pc













www.jkalashnikovphoto.com
(my wedding photography and more)