Just Copying Jesus

I have been thinking more and more about what it looks like to "disciple" my children. Normally I wouldn't think of raising my kids as such a "spiritual" thing as discipling (silly me) but one day I was listening to a teaching by Jason Hague at our church and he was defining what discipleship looked like:

 Of Course we think of Jesus, and the 12 disciples, and what did that look like? 

Well, he practically lived with them, he ate with them, he hung out with them almost every day for long hours at a time and he lived life in front of them.  Sometimes correcting them; like not to call fire down on people, not to think of yourself better than others (first in the Kingdom of Heaven, sitting at the right hand of Jesus), not to only rejoice in casting out demons but that their names were written in the book of life, he loved on them, spoke life changing encouragement over them, led by example, served them etc... I think you get the point.  

Suddenly it started sounding so familiar, Oh my goodness! I have 4 disciples living right beneath my nose, that I can be equipping now! Not some day when I have arrived and am teaching to the nations, or conferences, or on the pulpit, or on the streets evangelizing SOMEDAY...but now!  The Lord has entrusted 4 precious leaders of the next generation into my very hands.  

So with my mindset changed, I have had a new value for what I do, and for these precious little ones.  I have always valued them, but not in this way, it's a very important different way of thinking.  Instead of hurrying through reading to my son, so I can get onto more important things, or not wanting to stop and listen to an argument cuz I need to hurry onto something more important, instead of needing to teach the kids about the Lord by teaching and words alone, I all the more understand they are watching me.  When I want to spend time with the Lord I do, sometimes in the living room sprawled out on the floor with worship music playing as the kids come and pile on top of me.  Or just speaking out loud my thankfulness for the beauty of creation pointing out God's love in all that He created for us.  Sharing my feelings and processes out loud with the kids more intentionally instead of only processing it inside. Showing my excitement and sharing what God has been revealing to me in life.  Even just talking to them about my day or feeling emotional etc... apologizing more quickly when I make mistakes and have temper tantrums in front of the kids...

I have really been enjoying this new thinking! Sorry it took me so long to get it. But thankfully there was always grace in my learning years.  Love truly covers a multitude of sins. Phewww! :)

So

Kingdom Living - one pacifier at a time

 

God delights in my mothering …Reminder to me, and I pass it onto you! God delights in your mothering.

Yesterday I was talking to my Mom about suddenly feeling like maybe I am too selfish focusing on my immediate family so much and not having TIME to reach out beyond my family.  I was feeling a bit guilty (I should have recognized the condemnation right there), like I was maybe fooling myself telling myself that I am in a season of small baby, young kids lots of needs for their “Mama,” and that maybe I am just being selfish and not “reaching the world, the ‘truly’ needy ones…” Well as I voiced it out loud I began to cry and I wasn’t even sure why but I felt the guilt lift and be replaced by truth;  I wasn’t fooling myself and God really is pleased with me focusing on my family.  Mom made a good point, that if everyone would actually take the time to love on their immediate families and give them time, then we wouldn’t have so many hurting needy people in our world. 

So at 3 AM the Lord decided to make clear how much He values mothering.  I smile even as I write this because it tickled me so!  Abi had awoken and was quietly fussing so I blindly reached over, half asleep on my bed (her crib next to my bed) feeling for her “soska”(Russian for pacifier).  I reached by her head, her little sides, all over her blankets, I wasn’t feeling it anywhere…out of nowhere almost audibly so extremely clear,  He said, “It’s under her.”  I was actually startled for a moment, amazed at the clarity of His voice, and yet so excited to see if it really was there!? I reached under her side and there it was! Abi’s soska!  I smiled out loud and fell right back into a sweet sleep. J

The next morning I woke up immediately remembering the incident and again couldn’t hold back my delight.  I had ponder it for a while thinking how God totally, once again, killed my theology, (thinking that He only audibly speaks or shows such clarity when it is something extremely important like life or death or a warning or because we aren’t listening...) so as I write this it hits me again, that is what He was showing me Mothering is EXTREMELY important and He wanted to remind me in a very relatable way and even showing His sense of humor!

And they ate eggs until they came out of their ears...

Did you see the movie "Flipped"? That's exactly what I feel like right now doing this GAPS diet, cuz one easy quick protein is EGGS! Eggs! EGGS! So yeah, I thought we had tried them every way you can possibly make an egg...BUT I was wrong.

These are for juicing, we add a tsp of coconut oil (organic, COLD pressed) to help with absorption into the body, the fat helps the body suck it up better :) or a fish oil capsule (not sure if that one helps yet, but it seemed good haha)

 These puppies excited me sooooo much! These are banana peanut butter pancakes with NO FLOUR!! (we can't eat grains yet) These actually even got a little fluffy and had an awesome tender fluffy texture, I was stoked. OH were the kids rejoicing this morning, JOY was restored to the Kalashnikov stead. hehehe

I found the pancakes yesterday while dying to try something new that was legal for this SOUP, SOUP, and more SOUP diet. This ladie's website is so helpful it's called kids and scd.  We are supposed to eat soup at least once a day because of the very nourishing needed vitamins that come from the homemade broths. Also a cultured vegetable, or juice from them with every meal. So our main staple has been sauerkraut. I actually love it with a lot of things. It went especially well with the boiled meatballs we had last night (I know boiled just sounds wrong, but they are quite delicious-I do prefer oven, but once again getting that broth in somehow).

This is a newly started batch of sauerkraut

So the day before yesterday was major meltdown day.  I came in the kitchen the location of my new full time job I got hired for, oh wait I don't get paid, well my new volunteer job haha.  I am AMAZED at how much time I have to spend in the kitchen now with all the prep; few ingredients, LOTS of prep! Chopping, soaking, dehydrating, crushing, juicing, roasting, blending, wiping, washing, sweeping, washing, break for nursing, washing, oh and did I mention WASHING!

I was pumping milk and Abi grabbed the hose right from the bottle and started sucking, I guess that was her way of saying hurry up!

Anyway....I came into the kitchen and saw my horrendous kitchen looking the way it does everyday now after one meal, and I just wanted to scream, so instead I slammed a cupboard and yelled, "Can't I have one clean day!? One stinkin clean day, just one!" Oh did it feel good to slam that cupboard, so I did it again, and another one and pheww, that felt gooooood!  So then I gave up went into the living room and almost started yelling again, I wanted to blame someone and there sat Daniel, innocently on the couch, (who had, by the way, just put on some MUCH NEEDED worship music for Mama on his own initiative). I slightly raised my voice, "Daniel don't you hate a messy house!? " 

"Yes," he hesitantly agreed

"Then why don't you freakin pick something up when you see it laying on the floor!??" Yes I said, "freakin," it tends to be ALL of our new frustration word, I don't love it but it sure helps emphasize the frustration.  Then I just plopped down on the floor on my stomach and started to cry.  "Lord I know I am being ridiculous what is going on?"  As the amazingly perfect song is playing in the background, "Oh How He loves us, how he loves us so," I smile inside thinking of Daniel and his tender heart always wanting to bring peace. I sob and sob and sob some more, the bubbly snot kind. As I cry I feel all the pressures rising to the surface immediately being passed into the arms of the Father, thoughts and pressures from circumstances of a week ago rise to the surface and are released to my Savior, tears are flowing, I think of my frustration of my milk flow, more tears, more release, I forgive a person AGAIN, more release, suddenly my cries are turning to groans and yelling into a pillow, this is all happening in the middle of my living room floor, while my adorable Daniel and Joel are silently and stealthily tidying up the living room, I am giggling inside at the thought, hoping they aren't thinking this only has to do with a messy living room.  Suddenly it all turns to laughter and I remember the movie I just watched, which was surprisingly cute and meaningful "1000 Words," with Eddie Murphy. And I remember the part where this cheesy guru says: "yes, let it all out, you know tears and laughter are very close cousins (or something like that) I laugh some more. Now I am laughing deep refreshing exhilarating laughter and I feel soooooo much lighter. I feel the love of the Lord so deeply and I feel so so....so LIGHT. 

Thank you Father, you always know exactly what I need and what is really going on behind my meltdowns.  Thank you for loving me and having so much patience with me in the midst of life, and being a mom and a house cleaner and a kitchen cleaner etc... I couldn't do this without you, I need you more than ever before I need you more. This destiny of mine is far greater than I ever imagined and I am literally living it out today one day at a time, in my kitchen.

I am so content. :)

P.S. I talked to Daniel and Joel about my process and explained it wasn't just cuz of the messy house :) I also thanked them thoroughly for cleaning up so well. :)

A little change to my blogging

So I decided to try and be a little more steady and consistent with my blogging.  I know we all have those moments of great motivation and it lasts about 2-3 weeks and then something happens...called life...and we lose track of our focus...or maybe that's just me?

What I really want this blog to be about is exactly as I titled it, Raw life.  I know I don't have all the answers and in fact I am always looking for more.  I realize though, that through our 11 years of marriage and raising 3 boys (getting started right away-honeymoon baby) and pregnant with our 4th, we have learned a thing or two about marriage, raising kids, letting God be the center of a hectic life, and whatever else comes with all that. :)  I just thought it would be awesome to share whatever we might have learned with some of you who are maybe going through a similar thing.  It would be wonderful to by-pass "learning the hard way."

As we have recently moved to Eugene Oregon, we specifically heard one thing from the Lord and that was: "I want you to learn community."  Funny thing is, having been raised with 9 siblings, I thought I knew that quite well. I was wrong. :) It's been a good process so far and of course we are only just beginning.

My nugget for today:

  SIMPLIFY