What if we've had it all backwards with our lives?

What if we are supposed to raise our children and be there for our children and THEN pursue our "career" after the children have grown? Or to intentionally find things to make a living that involve our children?

Joel and his Papa

 

Now I know this might sound ridiculous to some and especially for some who have waited til a lot later to have children, but what if there's truth in this?

my hot rugged man working from home

Love his availability for coffee dates!

I have thought a lot about the state that we are in right now as our family has grown and years have passed and Ruslan has off and on wondered why he isn't still successful in the standards of this society.  He doesn't have the career that he imagined he would at this age (37) the money or the house that he pictured as a matter of fact we are still renting.  Each time we approach the subject it seems that God is continually pointing to the faithfulness of my husband, the great success he has had in being there for our children, in becoming the most amazing father husband ever (in our lives)!  I only see great fruit from the fact that Ruslan never got tied up or caught up in being at work all the time or studying for his degree so long he missed out on the children.

Melt my heart moments of Papa and Daughter

 

I know this might be touchy for some, and I am NOT saying that those things are wrong, not at all.  I am just wondering WHEN those things are actually supposed to come into play in a person's life who wants to have children and a family, a husband, or a wife.  I have seen the fruit of our children's lives as they have had total access to their parents and availability and openness to talk and discuss life with them.  My heart has exploded with the joy and deep satisfaction of watching my husband be interested in my teenage sons life, asking him every time he returns from time with friends, "How'd it go? What are your friends up to lately (knowing their names) truly finding interest in what Daniel does and what he's into.  I have seen the security in our teenager knowing that he is loved always, and protected, held accountable taught about the consequences of his decisions, heard, and that he is known.  

Watching my 2 year old daughter be able to climb up on Daddy's lap being welcomed every time and applauded as she comes in saying "woot Papa, woot!"(Look! Look!) As he adoringly gasps with pleasure at her new outfit I just put on her.

As we are considering the prospect of Ruslan working outside the home asking the children what their thoughts are, each one asking:

 "Does that mean Papa would be gone everyday?" (Joel`6 yrs)

"It's OK we don't need him to work somewhere else, because we have enough money, I really like Papa being home everyday." (Ian 10 yrs)

"I really like being able to visit with Papa everyday whenever I want to." (Daniel 13 yrs)

 

I am starting to hear a very clear message here.

I think it's in the heart of every child to have access to their parents, not to have the big house the beautiful car, the fun "things" without the parents being available.

I realize we have to make a living to raise a family, but I think there's more to it than that.

Our children need us. They desperately need us.  I just don't want us to fall into the trap of the "norm of society" that we are to sacrifice our children for our career.

Love his hands with hers

 

I honestly wonder if we aren't supposed to sacrifice our career and success for our children, or find things that make us still available to them, until they have come out of their very tender, mold-able, easily influenced state. I don't even know how that would look fully. But it's something I have really been pondering. I have seen the beautiful fruit in the security and solidness of our children as both my husband and I have been SO extremely blessed to have been able to be stay at home parents for the last 8 years (myself all of their lives-amazingly enough).

All I know is that I remember after getting married and seeing that my husband had to go to work everyday from 8-5, as I stayed home alone waiting for our son to bloom and grow inside my belly, I thought: 

"This is not what I signed up for! God I don't want to just be hone alone and not have my husband except for a few hours in the evening and weekends? I want more than this. I know it might sound ridiculous and impossible God, but I want my husband home, and I want him to be available to our children as they come into our lives."

I see that God heard my cry and He's willing to work with anyone who cries out for more, He makes a way where there seems to be NO WAY. Wow Lord God you are so faithful, thank you!

 

Don't be afraid to ask for the impossible, He wants to show you that with Him all things are possible, how awesome is that! Don't be afraid to think outside the "norm" of life and the cycles or ruts we've gotten caught up into, we may not even recognize that we are stuck in some things. Don't be afraid to ask for more than you have.

Marriage isn't just about SEX (part 2)

Sorry to leave you hanging for so long.. :(  Yep, life happened again, for some reason it doesn't stop when I stop?

So I was feeling so confused and alone... (read part 1 if you are haven't already it will help you understand this better)
Finally I got up off of my bed.  Trying to have some time alone with the Lord to get answers wasn't working.  I needed to get outside of my mind, I needed a face to face with someone. And I knew I needed to share with Ruslan what was going on but I felt so afraid to share with him because I didn't want him to worry that it was worse than it was...but I think the truth is I still hate when I am weak, especially when it comes to insecurity because I have believed that if I share when I feel insecure, it will make me seem less lovable, less "all together" and beautiful. 
I came into Ruslan's office at home and sat down trying to not seem too pathetic, he asked what was going on.  I just started spilling out everything that I wrote on part 1 and he listened very lovingly.  I then realized from saying it all out loud, that because I felt rejected by some people I love, I suddenly was afraid that Ruslan would want to reject me too, and so therefore, I started rejecting myself before he could even get the chance (so strange how control works).  I realized that in my feeling "single and attractive" when being out by myself that day, I was still believing the lie that if I wasn't attractive to the world anymore then Ruslan would stop being attracted to me.  I started thinking about how NOT perfect I was and how my body was not the way I wanted it, and it was starting to scare me again to think of aging, and losing my attractiveness.  So then I had spiraled way out of control into a big fat lie!  Yet part of me obviously still believed that lie because it felt so real, so true.

The more I talked to Ruslan the more I realized as a child, I saw that my father wasn't faithful to my mother and it seemed that (from a child's perspective) once she became "unattractive" in his opinion, (gained some weight) he got bored and started looking somewhere else...being unfaithful, which then led to divorce.  So to me that meant once I get older, or gain weight, then Ruslan and I would stop being intimate and Ruslan would get bored and go find someone else.  Which also translated into
marriage = sex.  Our culture seems to say good sex is only when you have a perfect body and a certain size breasts.  Therefore, I was afraid that soon I wouldn't fit that description anymore and it was inevitable that someday Ruslan would be bored and done. What a horrible feeling! (It was pretty subconscious though sneaking up here and there)

Ruslan so kindly assured me of that being a total lie and that he didn't just marry me for sex (haha it even sounds funny saying it, but it felt so good to hear the truth breaking through that lie).  I also broke agreement with those lies that I believed since a child, and I asked God for His truth...which was so cool, because I heard him say Ruslan will never divorce you.  It just felt so reassuring because I know that God knows Ruslan's heart even more than Ruslan.  Ruslan of course confirmed that as well. :)

I definitely saw once again how much the Devil hates marriage especially successful marriages, and he has been using a very strategic plan to destroy marriages and make people believe that the exciting more alluring thing is never committing, and only focusing on the outward appearance.  I am so sad to see that so many of us have bought into it.  But praise God for His help in unveiling the lies, and for bringing inner healing and health.

God loves this Country and I do too. :)

I think my first tendency used to be to remain ignorant when it comes to politics...But I have come to realize even though that "feels" better it isn't taking responsibility for what God might have for me to fulfill, being born and raised in this beautiful bountiful country.  Growing up my Mom had a tendency to be more fearful and worrisome about the things going on in the world, and my Dad didn't seem to be aware of it or care much.  I guess with out realizing I chose my dad's way only because it looked a little more peaceful...However, neither way was the perfect way.  Both my Mom and Dad were living two extremes.  Now at age 33, I think I am finally understanding things a bit more clearly.

I for sure feel overwhelmed at some of the things happening that are negative, but I have always had a tendency to be moreoptimistic and choose hope no matter how bad things look, that has definitely played out in my favor.  When I think of our leaders and the corruption, it feels really big and impossible, but then I go to God, and I begin to soak in His presence just sitting alone with Him and worshiping to some music and I begin to feel His tangible love and mercy, and everything suddenly becomes lighter.  I often have no idea what to pray for our leaders or our country so I worship God until He begins to pour out intercession through me, and many times I just cry and cry and cry, but I feel Him using that and changing my perspective and hope begins rising up.  I sometimes see visions in my mind's eye and I pray into those as I feel the Spirit leading, and it feels so good, it feels like my prayers are actually accomplishing things (because they are!).  I continue to ask the Lord what is my part, what role can I play in blessing this country and reminding my country and my people that this is our Nation under God, indivisible, with LIBERTY, and justice for all!  Father, how do we come against the onslaught of the enemy in all the evil that we are seeing...???

Well here are a few things that He has given me to stand in the midst of dry bones, or hopelessness:

One step at a time: "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."

I tend to think globally and of whole nations of people coming to the Lord, but I have found there is a lot of wisdom in Jesus' words, "LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF." That is, after we are loving God and allowing His love to flow through us so we truly love our neighbor.
But what does that look like?
Talk to your neighbor. :) Help them with their groceries, watch their children for an evening, offer your tools for their yard work, invite them for dinner, whatever you feel the Lord nudging you to do.  It is only by our daily walk and reaching our neighbor that we can change our neighborhood that we can release the Love of God to begin tearing down strongholds of division, independence, hatred, selfishness, political correctness.  After our neighborhood transforms, our town starts shifting, after our towns, our cities, after our cities, our states...you get the picture right. :)

Focus on YOUR sphere of influence, cuz you do have influence!
Remember that God has you where He wants you (unless you know you aren't where you are supposed to be)!  It isn't somewhere else, it isn't where revival is happening more, it isn't the next church where more spiritual things are happening, it's right inside of you. YOU are the resting place of God, if you will let ytourself be.  God said a broken and contrite spirit He will not deny, but He resists the proud.  He is looking for the hungry hearts who will do what they can with what they have, where they are at! :) Yeah!  It isn't somewhere in the future, it's now, in your backyard, at your bbq, at the movie theater, with your friends who you are embarrassed to mention Jesus to.  It's right where you are at.  Your friends are watching you, your family is watching you, you have influence and authority with the ones you love.  Jesus only moved with compassion, use that compassion and ask Holy Spirit what He wants to do today.  It's NOT somewhere else.

Find GOOD testimonies of what's happening in America.
There are actually some very exciting things going on ALL over America.  Think of Redding for example, 1000's of people are coming in every year to meet with God get more of Him to know how to reach their cities.  Here in Eugene Oregon, our Pastor's heart is to unite the Churches, imagine how powerful it will be when ALL churches start moving together in unity instead of fighting each other.  A huge abortion facility in Texas was SHUT DOWN recently! People are rising up and standing for life!

Ask God what your role is in your city, and what cause to stand with or for.
Don't compare yourself to other people's roles!  You are designed for something uniquely you!  You might be called to Mother your children and prepare the next generation to be pure and set apart.  You might be called to stand in prayer for people who are up front in visible ministries.  You might be called to bring change to the business realm having a business that is done in integrity and excellence.  You might be one who sows into feeding the poor or stopping abortion.  You might be one called to cook the most amazing meals to bless others and show God's extravagance!  You might be called to be the most loving neighbor anyone has ever encountered.  Only you know and God knows so start asking where do you begin.  What do you have in your possession?  Maybe you need to be sharing your beautiful roses with people who love roses.  Maybe you need to be dancing more, even in your own living room.  God will show you your part and it will be clear, it's not somewhere else!
I feel super excited about what God is doing in our nation, I believe it is never hopeless as long as God is on the throne! 
Also just ask God if there is something locally happening that you can be a part of in helping your community, or somewhere you can sow financially? Or maybe it's nursery in your church? Anything to help serve others...if you are already doing this ask God if you are to change anything or if you are on the right track?

DO NOT PARTNER WITH NEGATIVITY.
 It's like smearing Poo all over yourself and then everyone you come into contact with gets some on them too. It's not good!
 Ask God how He sees things.  Ask for His perspective.  Seriously!  Even as you are reading this sit still for 5 more minutes and ask God to reveal His view.  He may give you a scripture or a picture, or a song, or words. Pay attention He will speak to you.  Write it down, and when you are tempted to believe the circumstances, read that word, or ask Him again, He can show you more! :)

I love you all! I love this country!  And best of all God loves our nation!